Belt O Authority Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

127 Results for Belt O Authority

View 1 - 10 results for belt-o-authority comic strips. Discover the best "Belt O Authority" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #alice, #the boss, #head, #belt-o-authority, #electric, #shocks, #performance, #theory

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss holds a box and says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Everybody take one and fasten it securely around your head." Dilbert, Wally and Alice wear receivers on their heads. The Boss explains, "From time to time I'll use my 'Belt-O-Authority' to send you painful electric shocks." Dilbert asks, "When our performance is bad?" The Boss replies, "That's one theory, sure."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #can-o-matic, #restroom, #stall, #randomly, #fires, #pink, #slip, #backs, #expressions, #security, #cameras

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert points to a picture of a bathroom and tells the Boss, "As your consultant, I recommend the 'Can-O-Matic' to reduce staff levels." Dogbert points to a picture of a person falling out a building window and explains, "Disguised as a restroom stall, the Can-O-Matic randomly fires people by slapping a pink slip on their backs and catapulting them out of the building." The Boss says, "But I won't get to see the expressions on their faces." Dogbert replies, "Well, we could fling them past the security cameras here . . ."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #general, #department, #government, #cover-ups, #u.f.o., #abduction, #story, #untraceable, #poison, #good, #value, #tax, #dollar, #breath, #mint

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert opens the door and sees a man in a military uniform. The general says, "I'm a General from the Department of Government Cover-ups." The man continues, "If you tell your U.F.O. abduction story to the press we'll slay you with untraceable poison." Dilbert says, "I don't think I'm getting a good value for my tax dollar here." The General asks, "Breath mint?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #general, #government, #u.f.o., #encounters, #Lose, #faith, #aliens, #abducting, #people, #helpless, #maintain, #confidence, #taxes, #citizens

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and a man in a military uniform sit at the table. Dogbert says, "General, I don't understand why the government is trying to cover up all the U.F.O. encounters." The General replies, "People would lose faith in their government if they knew aliens were abducting people and we were helpless to stop them." Dogbert says, "So, to maintain confidence in the government, you use our taxes to kill the citizens who find out?" The General asks, "Is that so bad?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #insult-o-gram, #ex-wife, #weather, #satellites, #photograph, #cloudy, #people, #recognize, #tipping, #situation

View Transcript

Transcript

A man answers his door and asks, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I have a Dogbert Insult-O-Gram from your ex-wife . . ." Dogbert says, "You're so ugly, weather satellites won't photograph your town unless it's cloudy." Dogbert says, "The smarter people recognize this as a tipping situation."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 1993's comic on:

Tags #noriko, #Dogbert, #bob, #planet, #generation, #black, #belt, #karate, #party, #menacing, #expressions, #faces

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Noriko, "Take Bob with you, Noriko. You'll need help saving the planet for your generation." Noriko and Bob the Dinosaur walk down the sidewalk. Noriko says, "I have a black belt in karate. What skills do you bring to the party?" Bob replies, "Wedgies, mostly." Bob picks a man up by his underwear and explains, "It's not as menacing as karate, but you have to love the expressions on their faces." Noriko says, "Turn him this way."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1995's comic on:

Tags #being team leader, #stressful, #no authority, #behavioral study, #plus sude, #pellets, #excelllent

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk clenching his fist. He thinks, "I hate being team leader. It's so stressful." Dilbert continues thinking, "I have reponsibility but no authority. I feel like I'm an animal in some warped behavioral study." He hears a "Ding" coming from behind him. Dilbert turns his chair around and reaches for a dispenser on the wall with a sign above it that says, "Take pellet." He thinks, "On the plus side, the pellets are excellent."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1996's comic on:

Tags #new product deal, #alert in effect, #danger new idea, #crush o matic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert stand with the Boss. Dilbert says, "Wally and I came up with a great new product idea!" A voice says over an intercom, "Inspiration alert in effect!!" Another voice says, "Danger! New idea!" An arm extends down and drops a metal casing onto the Boss's head. The intercom says, "State your idea now." There is a large mallet poised over Dilbert's head that has written on it, "Crush-O-Matic." Dilbert says to Wally, "Um, you tell him."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1997's comic on:

Tags #ceo, #telewedgie, #relocating, #compnay, #phone behind, #belt level, #albeit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've asked Bob the Dinosaur to cal your CEO and give him a telewedgie." Bob holds a cordless phone. Dilbert asks, "Will that stop him from moving the company?" Over the phone, Bob says, "... now hold the phone behind you at belt level..." Dogbert says, "Stranger things have happened, albeit not often." Bob yanks the CEO's underwear through the phone, giving him a wedgie. On the other end, the CEO screams.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 1999's comic on:

Tags #chest pains, #my heart, #anti gravity belt, #invented, #cpr, #engineers say

View Transcript

Transcript

Man that looks like Mordac sits between Dilbert and Ted. Mordac says, "Chest pains.... My heart.." Mordac says, "I invented a antigravity belt but it's hidden!" Mordac keels over, his feet wave in the air. Ted says, "Do you think it's true?" Dilbert says, "It's what engineers says to increase the odds of getting CPR."