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300 Results for Best You Can Do
View 1 - 10 results for best you can do comic strips. Discover the best "Best You Can Do" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 12,
2019
Best In The Industry
Tags headphones, best, persuading, humor, confused, jokes
Transcript
Dilbert: The headphones we make are the best in the industry. Man: Our marketing campaign will focus on how they cure brain tumors and raise your IQ. Dilbert: They don't do any of that. Man: This is exactly why we don't let engineers do marketing.
Tuesday October 22,
2019
Best Employees
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, best, office workers, industry, attitude
Transcript
boss: we have the best employees in the entire industry. except for ted obviously. ted: wait...what? boss: and here comes the attitude.
Friday February 19,
2021
Wally's Best Idea
Tags managers & supervisors, business, lack, accomplishments, best, idea, career, interruption, finish, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: wally, do you have a minute to talk about your total lack of accomplishments? wally yelling: gaaa!!! i just had the best idea of my career, and your interruption made me forget it! boss: but no accomplishments until now? wally: i'm a strong finisher.
Saturday April 23,
2011
Tags announcements, committee decided, file naming, month, year, day, space, temperature, airport, hat size, long meeting, best work
Transcript
Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.
Sunday April 17,
2011
Tags business ethics, language, best shore, off shore, some countries, better than others, racists
Transcript
Boss: And we plan to bestshore the production. Dilbert: What? Boss: We say bestshore now instead of offshore. Dilbert: Is that because we never tried to pick the best shore until now? Boss: Of course we tried to pick the best shore! Dilbert: But we never succeeded because we're incompetent? Boss: All I'm saying is that some countries are better than others! Wally: We're racists?
Tuesday August 16,
2011
Tags meetings, questioning, best plan, ignorant nusinace, meeting, business
Transcript
Boss: This is the best plan in the world, and anyone who disagrees is an ignorant nuisance. Now I'll open it up for comments. Anyone? Anyone? Wally: I'd like to thank you for shortening this meeting.
Friday January 06,
2012
Tags best decison, conference room, listed reasons, review, thinking, vendor, work, writing
Transcript
Man: Why are you picking this vendor? Dilbert: I listed the four reasons. Individually, each reason would not be compelling. But viewed as a whole, this is the best decision. This first reason is weak. Dilbert: And here we go.
Thursday February 22,
1990
Tags Dilbert, brainella, smart, intimidated, dated, woman, outfit, best
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman with a huge head sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gosh, Brainella, I've never dated a woman as smart as you before . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's just start right in talking about all kinds of smart stuff. C'mon, give me your best shot. I'm not intimidated." Brainella replies, "Not here. If your brain explodes, it'll ruin my outfit."
Wednesday April 08,
1992
Tags Dilbert, transferred, marketing, barbeque, unicorn, rare, best, part
Transcript
Dilbert stands in a barbecue line holding a plate. The man in front of him says, "Every Tuesday we barbecue a unicorn." The man says, "Make mine rare. Ha ha! Get it? Rare?" Dilbert looks at the horn on his plate and thinks, "I'm not sure I believe this is the 'best part.'"
Thursday October 29,
1992
Tags Dogbert, afraid, the boss, decade, natural, body, rhythms, employees, reach, mental, low, best, avoid, activity
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm afraid your company is being hit by an El Nino Circadian trough." Dogbert continues, "Once a decade, the natural body rhythms of all the employees reach their mental low point at the same time." Dogbert continues, "It's best to avoid any form of mental activity." The Boss yells, "Staff meeting!"