Beter Ideas Comic Strips
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143 Results for Beter Ideas
View 1 - 10 results for beter ideas comic strips. Discover the best "Beter Ideas" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 15,
2001
Tags #save money, #each unit, #idea, #vp, #beter ideas, #fist of death, #something hits me, #alice punches
Transcript
Carol sits in her cubicle saying to the Boss, "...and that way we'll save money on each unit we build." The Boss replies, "Let's try that idea with our VP." Alice and the Boss sit in front of the VP. The VP says, "Wow. Great idea. Who thought of it?" Alice and the Boss both sit looking pleased. The Boss says, "Well, I have to admit..." The Boss continues, "It's one of my better ideas." Alice sits totally shocked. Alice stands furious and shaking, thinking, "Must...control...fist of death." The Boss continues, "Sometimes I'll just be standing there..." Alice thinks, "GAAA!" as the Boss continues, "And POW! Something hits me." Alice and the VP stand on either side of the Boss' legs up in the air. Alice says, "Thank you." The VP holds out her shaking hand and says, "I tried to control it but I couldn't."
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Thursday June 11,
2015
Brainstorming App Ideas
Tags #ideas, #brainstorm, #idea, #thinking, #criticism, #judge, #judging, #technology, #invention, #judgment, #legal
Transcript
Dilbert: Today we will brainstorm app ideas for our smart watch. The only rule is "no judging." Wally: How about an app that makes you left-handed. Are you judging me now or were you being insincere before.
Monday October 05,
2015
People Keep Stealing His Ideas
Tags #criticism, #honesty, #insult, #conversation, #ideas
Transcript
Coworker: People keep stealing my ideas! Dilbert: Maybe that is an illusion caused by the fact that your ideas are both old and obvious. Were you hoping for a less honest reaction? Coworker: I kinda was.
Friday February 09,
2018
Obvious Ideas
Tags #copyright, #ideas, #thinking, #stealing, #intellectual property, #originality
Transcript
Boss: People keep stealing all of my great ideas. Alice: Have you ruled out the possibility that you only think of ideas that are obvious? Boss: Hmm... I hadn't considered that. Alice: And yet it was obvious.
Saturday August 06,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #clubs, #meetings, #society for the preservation of evil ideas, #file patents, #sue for infringement, #embezzle, #Entertainment
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to the monthly meeting of "The Society for the Preservation of Evil Ideas." Our goal for the coming year is to convince companies to file absurdly broad patents and sue each other for infringing. CIO: How do we make money from that? Dogbert: Beats me. I'm just here to embezzle your dues.
Sunday October 16,
2011
Tags #choosing, #meetings, #creative ideas, #next prodcut, #ignorance on public disply, #cost money, #increase risk, #evaluate each idea, #disdain, #good idea
Transcript
Boss: We need creative ideas for our next product. But not from you. Your ideas are awful. And don't suggest something that is already being done. That just puts your ignorance on public display. I don't want to hear any ideas that cost money or increase risk. As usual, I'll evaluate each idea by repeating it slowly while I look at your with disdain. If you come up with a good idea, I'll let you take on the project in addition to your existing work. Who wants to go first? How did I hire so many people who have no ideas? Catbert: Probably bad luck.
Monday December 19,
2011
Tags #big business, #inventions, #google, #develop ideas, #60 hours, #per week, #math, #education
Transcript
Man: At Google, we're encouraged to spend 20% of our time developing our own ideas. Dilbert: How many hours per week do you work? Man: About sixty. Wally: It sounds better when you don't do the math.
Saturday March 03,
2012
Tags #brag, #contributions, #ego, #hours of work, #man of ideas, #meeting, #business
Transcript
Wally: My contributions can't be measured by the number of hours I work. I'm a man of ideas. One great idea is worth more than all of you put together. Boss: Fine. Let's hear your great idea. Wally: You just did.
Monday April 02,
2012
Tags #inventions, #new app, #ten people created something, #population increases, #potentail value, #enter world, #unoriginal ideas, #agreeing
Transcript
Dilbert: Every time I have an idea for a new app, I discover that ten people already created something just like it. As the population of the world increases, the potential value of every idea I have approaches zero. Dogbert: So, it's the entire world's fault that you have unoriginal ideas? Dilbert: Why does your agreeing sound like mocking?
Sunday July 08,
2012
Tags #brainstorm, #discussion, #less effective, #meetings, #new product ideas, #stem cell technology
Transcript
Boss: Let's brainstorm new product ideas. Remember, the most important rule of brainstorming is no criticizing. Dilbert: I'll go first. Research shows that brainstorming is less effective than people working by themselves and later comparing ideas. My idea is to use stem cell technology to design bosses who aren't ignoramuses. Remember, you're not supposed to criticize ideas. But if you decide to do it anyway, it sort of proves my point. I understand whey brainstorming has a bad reputation, but it doesn't stop me from enjoying it.