Better Plans Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

540 Results for Better Plans

View 1 - 10 results for better plans comic strips. Discover the best "Better Plans" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #employees, #progress, #policy, #promote from within, #better plans, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our policy is to promote from within. Dilbert: How will you backfill the jobs of the people you promoted? Boss: From within. Dilbert: That's one of your better plans.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new years eve, #maybe, #better plans, #better offer, #get away with

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Amber, would you like to celebrate New Year's Even with me?" Amber says, "I'll say maybe. That way you can't make other plans and I can wait for a better offer." Amber says, "I can get away with it because of whatever is happening over there." Dilbert says, "Yup."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #spare cubicles, #convicts, #bigot, #little mistake, #health plan better

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in Dilbert's cubicle wearing a hard hat and reading some construction plans. Dilbert says, "I don't think it's fair to put convicts in our spare cubicles." Dogbert says, "Don't be such a bigot. These people have made one little mistake. Otherwise, they're just like employees." Dilbert says, "I think there are a few differences!" Dogbert responds, "Yeah, their health plan is better."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #human body, #medicines, #vitamin d, #inner glow, #vitamins, #minerals, #better than sun

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper. Carol: I'm in a bad mood. Maybe I need some sun to boost my vitamin D level. Topper: That's nothing. Exposure to my inner glow will give you a full range of vitamins and minerals. Dilbert: You're better than the sun? Topper: I don't quit just because it's night.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #language, #best shore, #off shore, #some countries, #better than others, #racists

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: And we plan to bestshore the production. Dilbert: What? Boss: We say bestshore now instead of offshore. Dilbert: Is that because we never tried to pick the best shore until now? Boss: Of course we tried to pick the best shore! Dilbert: But we never succeeded because we're incompetent? Boss: All I'm saying is that some countries are better than others! Wally: We're racists?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #excitement, #interviews, #wages, #interview, #less money, #worse job, #imagined better, #hald day, #next useless interview, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "How did your interview go yesterday?" Dilbert says, "Great!" Dilbert says, "They offered less money for a worse job. But for half a day I imagined it would be better." Wally says, "Half a day/! Lucky!" Dilbert says, "I know! I can't wait for my next useless interview!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2011's comic on:


Tags #exercise & fitness, #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #brain work better, #the ighties, #debunks science, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Scientists say that exercise makes your brain work better." The Boss says, "I haven't exercised since the eighties." The Boss says, "That pretty much debunks science." Alice says, "It had a good run."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #gloating, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #alice in charge, #better than, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Our pointy haired boss put me in charge while he's gone. Thats proof that Im better than you...and you...and you...and you... and you. Oh look: thats the only thing on my agenda!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #blaming, #quarreling, #work independantly, #close eyes, #fall back, #better than other people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to work independently. In this exercise, I want you to put your arms at you side, close your eyes, and fall backward. Noise: Thud thud thud. Dogbert: And it's still better than working with other people.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #mergers & acquisitions, #slavery is illeagal, #engineers are free, #find jobs, #better companies

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're buying an entire company just to get their engineers. Dilbert: Are you aware that slavery is illegal and the engineers are free to find jobs at better companies? Boss: I sure hope you're wrong about that.