Bid Proposals Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

43 Results for Bid Proposals

View 1 - 10 results for bid proposals comic strips. Discover the best "Bid Proposals" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags quality metric, bid proposals, magic powers, sarcastic, silly, joke, serious, hand paper, muggles, harry potter, men in black

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Your quality metric for next year is to win 30% more bid proposals." Dilbert says, "No problem. I'll use my magic powers to control how much our competitors bid." The Boss says, "I worry that you're not taking this seriously." Dilbert says, "If the muggles find out, I'll wipe their memories."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags padded cost estimates, co workers, cost etsimates, inaccurate data, half full glass

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Boss and says, "I gathered all the padded cost estimates from the liars and scoundrels I'm ashamed to call co-workers." The Boss replies, "That's okay. I usually ignore our cost estimates and make bid proposals that I think will win." Dogbert is sitting on Dilbert's bed. Dilbert says, "I gather inaccurate data for a living. Luckily no one uses it." Dogbert replies, "Your glass is half full."

Winning The Bid

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Winning The Bid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bidding, executives, lying, outsourcing, projects, winning bid, good news, secretly subcontract, scream, presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The good news is that we had the winning bid for the project. The less-good news is that we don't make the product we just sold, nor could we make it for the price we bid. My plan is to put out an RFP to secretly subcontract the work to a bigger liar. CEO: That could work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, gravity, formula, drink, fly, famous, people, shower, praise, admiration, attention, pathetic, bid, Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table and yells as a test tube flies out of his hands, "It works!! My anti-gravity formula works!!!" Dilbert continues, "If I drink it, I'll be able to fly! I'll be famous. People will shower me with praise and admiration!!" Dilbert sits on the wall over the television and says to Dogbert, "Notice anything?" Dogbert replies, "A pathetic bid for attention?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags press release, dsn, bid 50 million, hollywood studio, providing static, channels, Dogbert, static netowrk

View Transcript

Transcript

"Here's the press release about our bid to buy 'DSN' for fifty billion dollars." "DSN is the hollywood studio that provides static to all the channels that woudl otherwise be blank." "The 'Dogbert Static Network'?!!" "Talk to me, babe."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags telemarketing, bid to run, telemarketers pay themselves, rip[ off people, old people, no way to lose

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. He hands the Boss a document and says, "Here's my bid to run your telemarketing company. Basically, it's no cost to you." Dogbert continues, "My telemarketers pay themselves. If they get a feeble-minded person on the phone they charge them triple and pocket the difference." The Boss says, "There's no way I can lose." Dogbert says, "Don't answer your home phone for a few weeks."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wall art, low bid, assistant scourcing, earth, low cost art

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert watches Dogbert and Bob the Dinosaur hanging paintings on the office wall. He asks Dogbert, "How did you get the contract to supply our company with wall art?" Dogbert answers, "Low bid." Dogbert says, "As we speak, my assistant is scouring the earth in search of low-cost art." Ratbert stands outside the "School-O-Art" with a bag of money. As an art student wearing a beret and painter's smock is thrown out of the school with his painting, Ratbert says, "I'll take it!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, corporate, takeover, complete, hostile, bid, meowco, cat, Food, company, efficient, hassling, ashamed, hairball

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a table holding a document. He tells Dilbert, "Plans for the corporate takeover are complete." Dilbert asks, "What corporate takeover?" Dogbert replies, "It's a hostile bid for control of the Meowco Cat Food Company." Dogbert explains, "When I become CEO, I'll order them to add a hairball to every can of cat food." Dogbert chuckles. Dilbert says, "That is cruel and senseless. I'm thoroughly ashamed of you." Dilbert leaves the room. Dogbert sits on the hassock and thinks, "Gee . . . It seems so much more efficient than hassling one cat at a time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lowest bid, technical support hotline, other bidders

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You submitted the lowest bid to run our new technical support hotline, Mister Dogbert." The Boss continues, "The other bidders would love to know how you plan to handle twelve thousand calls a day by yourself." Dogbert replies, "Tell them to call me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags air traffic control, systems, blue hound bus lines, won bid

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, Dilbert and Wally, "We won the bid to rebuild our nation's air traffic control systems." Dilbert, Alice and Wally throw their arms up in celebration. Alice yells, "Yippeee!!!" Dilbert yells, "Yes!!" Wally yells, "To the phones!" The Boss walks away thinking, "They don't usually get that excited." Inside his cubicle, Wally says into the phone, "Buy a thousand shares of 'Bluehound Bus Lines.'"