Big Fat Men Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

499 Results for Big Fat Men

View 1 - 10 results for big fat men comic strips. Discover the best "Big Fat Men" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 1998's comic on:

Tags #presentation, #humorless blobs, #room full, #no humor, #big fat men

View Transcript

Transcript

The Presentation Dilbert: This cartoon says it all! Hee Hee! Uh-oh. I just realized you're all humorless blobs. Blob1: Join us, Dilbert, Be a blob. Blob2: Yes....humor is uncalled for.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2010's comic on:

Tags #slug, #success, #energy, #fast, #fat, #stick paper, #slimy, #face, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My success depends on your doing your role in a timely and energetic manner." Dilbert says, "People say you're a big, fat slug, but I have confidence in you. I'll stick this to your slimy face and hope for the best." Dilbert says, "I like to think I'm a pretty good judge of character."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 1998's comic on:

Tags #big fat guy, #blob, #condescending, #creative director, #foster innovation, #new hire

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, Id like you to meet the humorless blob I hired. Blob is our new creative director. His job is to foster innovation. Dilbert: I have some ideas. Blob: Whoa, loose cannon.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #the boss, #consultant, #clarify, #company, #policy, #discrimination, #unpopular, #religions, #short, #bald, #fat, #handicapped

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Dilbert and several co-workers, "I've hired a consultant to clarify our company policy on discrimination." Dogbert says, "It is against policy to discriminate based on race, sex, age, handicap or religion." A man raises his hand and asks, "Does that include unpopular, little religions?" Dogbert replies, "No, those are considered cults; you may discriminate freely against them." A woman raises her hand and asks, "What about short, bald, fat, ugly men? Are they considered 'handicapped'?" Dogbert replies, "Technically, no. You can still tease them and deny them promotions as usual." Dogbert continues, "Likewise, you may discriminate against nerds, smokers, and single people." Dogbert continues, "And we've dropped 'stupid people' from the watch list, as their lobbying efforts proved ineffective . . ."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #work ethic, #work-life balance, #implies life is impirtant, #work-life intergration, #big thanks, #never had a life

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "We're no longer using the term 'work-life balance' because it implies that your life is important." Catbert says, "Now we call it 'work-life integration' so it's easier to make you work when you would prefer being with loved ones." Catbert says, "And I'd like to give a big thanks to those of you who never had a life." Dilbert says, "You're welcome."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2011's comic on:

Tags #critics, #employees, #laziness, #big picture guy, #lesser minds, #managing, #implementing, #not getting it, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've decided to become more of a big picture guy. Lesser minds can do the managing and implementing while I criticize them for not :getting it". Dilbert: So...you want to get paid to be a jerk? Wally: said the implementer.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2011's comic on:

Tags #laziness, #meetings, #telephones, #returned calls, #tragus, #phone, #research on excuses, #useless, #big difference

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Why haven't you returned my calls?" Wally says, "I tried, but when I put the phone to my ear, it pressed my tragus over my ear hole and I couldn't hear a thing." Coworker says, "Do you do research on your excuses before meetings?" Wally says, "I'm not lazy, I'm useless. There's a big difference."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2011's comic on:

Tags #anger, #envy, #big promotion, #congratulations, #not jealous, #good work, #art of full body lying

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Hey, Alice! Did you hear about my big promotion? Alice: Congratulations, Ted. I'm not jealous at all. Keep up the good work. Sorry about my face. I haven't mastered the art of full-body lying.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2012's comic on:

Tags #dating, #confident men, #phonies, #interest, #Opinion, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I like men who are confident in any situation. Dilbert: Within that subset of men, do you prefer the phonies or the ones who are too dumb to know when they shouldn't be confident? Dogbert: What went wrong this time? Dilbert: I showed interest in her opinion.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2012's comic on:

Tags #algorithm, #attraction, #creative men, #creativity is random, #dating, #free will, #humans, #illusion, #moist robots, #parties, #shop around, #short term relationsips, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.