Biggest Fault Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

118 Results for Biggest Fault

View 1 - 10 results for biggest fault comic strips. Discover the best "Biggest Fault" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #resume, #impressive, #biggest fault, #work too hard, #forget to eat, #bathe, #die as desk, #bloted, #stinking corpse, #someone hungrier

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks down the hall wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. Wally says, "Looks like somebody has a job interview." Dilbert says, "Shh." Dilbert sits across from a desk. The interviewer says, "Your resume is impressive. I only have one question." The interviewer asks, "What do you consider your biggest fault?" Dilbert replies, "Sometimes I work too hard." He thinks to himself, "Good one." The interviewer asks, "Why is that a fault?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . Uh . . . I work so hard that I forget to eat and bathe for days. Eventually I starve to death at my desk." Dilbert lies down on the chair and continues, "I become a bloated, stinking corpse. Insects breed in my body. I spread disease to the entire company." Wally asks Dilbert, "How did it go?" Dilbert replies, "They want somebody hungrier."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biggest fault, #cubilces, #drawers, #honesty, #interviews, #job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What would you say is your biggest fault? Interviewee: I like to sneak into people's cubicles and go through their drawers. I also tell the truth. It's not a good combination.

Refusing Customer Demands

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Refusing Customer Demands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #customer, #demands, #face mask, #fault, #Lose, #managers & supervisors, #refuse, #sarcasm, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: as you instructed, i refused to give in to our biggest customer's demands and they canceled all of their orders. boss: i didn't tell you to do that, you fool! dilbert: you told me to do exactly that. boss: i never told you to lose our biggest customer! dilbert: you told me to refuse their demands. boss: but i didn't tell you to lose the customer! dilbert yelling: it's the same thing!!! boss: the important thing here is that it's your fault. Dilbert yelling: i get it!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #interviews, #biggest mistake, #learned from t, #old couch, #chewing, #starbucks, #never tell story

View Transcript

Transcript

Interview question. Boss: Describe your biggest mistake and what you learned from it. Man: I tried to get rid of an old couch by chewing it into tiny pieces and leaving one handful at a time at a Starbucks. Boss: And what did you learn? Man: I learned I should never tell that story.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #substitute teacher, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #powerless, #marble, #statue, #bad, #biggest, #flock, #pigeons, #animals, #animal behavior

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How was your first day as a substitute school teacher?" Dogbert replies, "Imagine feeling completely powerless . . . Like a marble statue . . ." Dilbert says, "Gosh . . . That sounds pretty bad." Dogbert says, "Now imagine the biggest flock of pigeons you ever saw . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #blind date, #biggest, #woman, #chance, #financially, #surviving, #dinner, #eat, #starch, #pasta, #banned, #life

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert greets his blind date." Dilbert thinks, "This is the biggest woman I've ever seen." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Hi." Dilbert thinks, "I have only one chance of financially surviving dinner." The woman says, "Hi." Dilbert says, "Say . . . Why don't we go to the 'All-you-can-eat House of Starch and Pasta?'" The woman replies, "Can't . . . Banned for life."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #consulting, #job, #questioning, #employees, #underpaid, #problems, #fault, #lard, #head

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and the Boss walk out of the Boss's office. Dogbert says, "My fee for business consulting is $200 an hour." The Boss says, "Fair enough." Dogbert says, "I'll spend the day questioning your employees to identify problem areas." Later that day, Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert reads a document and says, "It's unanimous. They're underpaid and all the problems are your fault, 'Lard Head.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #heart, #attacks, #eating, #cows, #california, #drought, #fault, #water, #subsidies, #global warming, #earth, #organized

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and a robot sit outdoors. The robot says, "I worry . . . Is it my fault that people get heart attacks?" Dogbert replies, "No . . . That's from eating too many cows." The robot asks, "Is the California drought my fault?" Dogbert answers, "No . . . That's from water subsidies to cows." The robot asks, "Global warming?" Dogbert replies, "Cows again." The robot asks, "Cows are destroying the earth?" Dogbert says, "They're better organized than you'd think."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #progress, #supreme, #ruler, #fault, #blame, #pillow, #computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow thinking, "I've made little progress toward my goal of being supreme ruler of earth." Dogbert thinks, "Obviously it's not my fault. Somebody else must be to blame." Dogbert stares at Dilbert who is sitting at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "I hate it when he just stares."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #doctor, #whacks, #knee, #patient, #crime, #society, #fault, #raise, #taxes, #feed, #poor, #stop, #nuclear, #research, #liberal, #normal, #life, #annoying, #parties

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a stool holding a reflex hammer. He says to the patient on the examining table, "Hold still while Doctor Dogbert whacks your knee." As Dogbert taps his knee, the man says, "Aak . . . Crime is society's fault . . . Raise taxes to feed the poor . . . Stop nuclear research . . . Save the . . ." The man covers his mouth. Dogbert says, "Apparently you're a knee-jerk liberal. You can live a normal life but you'll be annoying at parties."