Search Results for "biggest prospect"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #biggest prospect, #brain overload, #kenny sales weasel, #tech specs, #uses electricity, #car

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, you'll work with 'Kenny the sales-weasel' on our biggest prospect." Dilbert and Kenny get into a car. Kenny says, "Tell me all of our product's technical specs on the way. I like to be prepared." They ride in the car. Dilbert says, "Our product is beige. It uses electricity." Kenny says, "Whoa! Brain overload!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #interviews, #biggest mistake, #learned from t, #old couch, #chewing, #starbucks, #never tell story

View Transcript

Transcript

Interview question. Boss: Describe your biggest mistake and what you learned from it. Man: I tried to get rid of an old couch by chewing it into tiny pieces and leaving one handful at a time at a Starbucks. Boss: And what did you learn? Man: I learned I should never tell that story.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #substitute teacher, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #powerless, #marble, #statue, #bad, #biggest, #flock, #pigeons, #animals, #animal behavior

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How was your first day as a substitute school teacher?" Dogbert replies, "Imagine feeling completely powerless . . . Like a marble statue . . ." Dilbert says, "Gosh . . . That sounds pretty bad." Dogbert says, "Now imagine the biggest flock of pigeons you ever saw . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #blind date, #biggest, #woman, #chance, #financially, #surviving, #dinner, #eat, #starch, #pasta, #banned, #life

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert greets his blind date." Dilbert thinks, "This is the biggest woman I've ever seen." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Hi." Dilbert thinks, "I have only one chance of financially surviving dinner." The woman says, "Hi." Dilbert says, "Say . . . Why don't we go to the 'All-you-can-eat House of Starch and Pasta?'" The woman replies, "Can't . . . Banned for life."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1996's comic on:


Tags #biggest offices, #file cabinet, #least need, #living monument, #proprietary documents, #stacks full, #storage psace, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice asks the Boss, "Why is it that the people with the least need for storage space have the biggest offices?" Alice stands in the door to the Boss's office and says, "I know! You're using your office as kind of a living monument to inefficiency!" The Boss asks, "Is this because I wouldn't let you get a file cabinet?" Alice asks, "Where would I put it? My cubicle is full of stacks of proprietary documents."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1996's comic on:


Tags #biggest problem, #databases, #dwell on negative, #network, #probelm, #tracking database

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I just got our consultant's report. He's identified our biggest problem." Wally says, "I recommend that we build a tracking database." Dilbert adds, "We can put it on the network." The Boss asks, "Would you like to hear what the problem is first?" Wally says, "I hate to dwell on the negative." Dilbert adds, "We like databases."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 1996's comic on:


Tags #team building exercise, #build trust, #trust, #not biggest problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, the Boss and Wally, "This exercise will build trust. The partner in front will fall. The partner behind will break the fall." The Boss falls backward toward Dilbert. The Boss falls to the floor. Dogbert says, "Okay, maybe trust isn't your biggest problem here."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #resume, #impressive, #biggest fault, #work too hard, #forget to eat, #bathe, #die as desk, #bloted, #stinking corpse, #someone hungrier

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks down the hall wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. Wally says, "Looks like somebody has a job interview." Dilbert says, "Shh." Dilbert sits across from a desk. The interviewer says, "Your resume is impressive. I only have one question." The interviewer asks, "What do you consider your biggest fault?" Dilbert replies, "Sometimes I work too hard." He thinks to himself, "Good one." The interviewer asks, "Why is that a fault?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . Uh . . . I work so hard that I forget to eat and bathe for days. Eventually I starve to death at my desk." Dilbert lies down on the chair and continues, "I become a bloated, stinking corpse. Insects breed in my body. I spread disease to the entire company." Wally asks Dilbert, "How did it go?" Dilbert replies, "They want somebody hungrier."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ken from sales, #nobody buys, #current prodcut, #new version, #entire product line, #biggest comepetitor, #brisk sales, #commissions galore, #justice, #idiots punished

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says to Dilbert, "Yo, Dil-man!" Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's Ken from sales." Ken says, "I told our biggest customers how great our next product will be. Now nobody will buy our current product." Ken asks, "When will the new version be available?" Dilbert replies, "In a year or two." Ken looks shocked. Ken says, "Hmm . . . I seem to have single-handedly destroyed an entire product line." Ken continues, "Luckily our biggest competitor is hiring sales people. And I'm betting THEY'LL have brisk sales this year! Commissions galore!" Dilbert thinks, "If there's justice in this world, the idiots will be punished . . ." Dilbert thinks, ". . . Before they get promoted." The Boss tells Dilbert, "Um . . . We need the new version by Tuesday."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #biggest customer, #missed deadline, #overnight mail, #evil and lazy, #bonus effort, #second guess

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, we lost our biggest customer because you missed the R.F.Q. deadline." Alice says, "That's because YOU said all overnight mail must go through your evil and lazy secretary." Alice says, "So you're probably going to apologize and give me a bonus for my effort." the boss says, "What's your second guess?"