Biometric Scanner Comic Strips
8 Results for Biometric Scanner
View 1 - 8 results for biometric scanner comic strips. Discover the best "Biometric Scanner" comics from Dilbert.com.
Mordac: "I am Mordac, the preventer of information services, and I bring you my newest biometric scanner." "Instead of a password, I put this on your head and squeeze until you scream in a way that only you can scream." "No, that's not you." Dilbert: "GAAA! GAAA! GAAA!"
Wally says, "For thousands of generations the males in my family practiced selective breeding." Wally continues, "The goal was to produce offspring that leave no biometric impression: no pulse, no fingerprints, no DNA." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Wally responds, "We like to ask, 'Why not?'"
Dilbert says, "Can you scan this document for me?" Carol says, "Is it important?" Carol says, "If it isn't important, you shouldn't bother me. If it is, the scanner will malfunction." Dilbert says, "Is there no room for hope?" Carol says, "I keep mine in this empty candy jar."
"I need a $1,600 handheld bar code scanner to finish my lab tests." "Okay. Apply for a capital budget variance, prepare an RFP, get three bids, form a team to evaluate the bids, then prepare a purchase order." "Never mind. I'll just learn how to read bar codes by sight." "Quitter."
Dilbert: I added a biometric sensor to our smartphone prototype. ZZEEEP It uses x-rays. Boss: Maybe you should have tested it on animals first. Dilbert: Do I look like an animal hater?
The Boss introduces an employee, "Bob will demonstrate our new biometric security system." Bob motions towards the machine and says, "The system checks for pulse, heat and fingerprints to identify each employee." Wally puts his hand on the machine and says, "It says I don't have any of those things." Bob replies, "Are you the one they call Wally?"
CEO CEO says, "We're getting a lot of interest in your death ray invention." Dilbert says, "It's not a death ray. It's a portable brain scanner with a popcorn microwave option?" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. That's a death ray." CEO says, "We have an RFQ from North Korea."
Dilbert: My invention can scan the human brain and duplicate it in software. I combined that technology with a 3-D printer that makes human body parts. Boss: What does it all do? Replicant: He's getting to the good part.