Bladder To Brain Comic Strips
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208 Results for Bladder To Brain
View 1 - 10 results for bladder to brain comic strips. Discover the best "Bladder To Brain" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 05,
1995
Tags #Dogbert, #explains leader ship, #drawn to meetings, #bladder to brain, #impervious to logic, #coffee, #promited, #leadership is natures way, #removing morons, #start as morons
Transcript
Dogbert points to a sign that says, "Dogbert explains leadership." Dogbert points to a man who is wearing an untucked shirt and staring blankly ahead. Dogbert says, "Leaders start their careers as morons." The caption says, "They are drawn to meetings like moths to a porch light. The moron walks toward a conference room. Dogbert points to a diagram of a human body. He says, "The successful moron will have a very high bladder-to-brain ratio." The caption says, "They prevail in all decisions because they are impervious to logic or coffee." Dilbert sits at a conference table with the moron and another man. The moron says, "Let's do it my way!" The other man says, "Okay!" The caption says, "These qualities are perceived as leadership." The moron pours coffee on himself. The Boss tells the moron, "You're promoted!" The caption says, "After several promotions their job tends to match their talents." The moron tells Dilbert, "I award you this award." Dogbert says, "Conclusion: leadership is nature's way of removing morons from the productive flow."
Saturday July 09,
2016
Ted Has Fly Brain
Tags #greeting card, #sick, #brain damage, #marketing, #advertising, #mindless, #business, #medical
Transcript
Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.
Wednesday November 30,
2016
Brain Escapes Ear Holes
Friday November 24,
2017
Brain Scan
Tags #brain, #thinking, #cognition, #personality, #abnormality, #psychology
Transcript
Wally: My doctor says my laziness is caused by a brain abnormality. Dilbert: Doesn't everyone in the world have a unique brain that determines what they do? Boss: Is he right about that? Wally: I'd have to see his brain scan. Sounds like a tumor.
Friday April 03,
2020
Alice's Brain Is Full
Monday March 28,
2011
Tags #dual core processors, #brain, #disconcerting, #email answer
Transcript
Asok says, "To answer your question faster, I'll need to use the two halves of my brain like dual core processors." Asok says, "I'm only warning you because it might be disconcerting to watch." Woman says, "How bad could it be?" Asok says, "Wah-ah-geeee!" Woman says, "Maybe you can e-mail me your answer."
Monday April 04,
2011
Tags #managers & supervisors, #brain overload, #detailed answer, #broken, #decison, #nodding, #sensing opportunity, #business
Transcript
Alice says, "Now you've done it. He has brain overload from your unnecessarily detailed answer." Alice says, "Great. He's totally broken and we need a decision today." Dilbert says, "Is he nodding yes?" Alice says, "I'm sensing an opportunity here."
Monday May 02,
2011
Tags #exhaustion / tiredness, #office workers, #peak efficeincy, #brain, #peak effiency, #not working
Transcript
Dilbert: My brain isn't working at its peak efficiency this afternoon. Common sense says I should go home early to avoid making any mistakes that would be bad for the company. Unless... nothing I... do is important. Boss: Sounds like your brain is back to its peak efficiency.
Wednesday March 16,
2011
Tags #exercise & fitness, #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #brain work better, #the ighties, #debunks science, #business
Transcript
Alice says, "Scientists say that exercise makes your brain work better." The Boss says, "I haven't exercised since the eighties." The Boss says, "That pretty much debunks science." Alice says, "It had a good run."
Friday September 09,
2011
Tags #keep brain out, #laziness, #long and complicated, #technical recommendation, #thinking, #make decision
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you read my technical recommendation? Boss: No. It's too long and complicated. Dilbert: How do you plan to make a decision without reading it? Boss: I'll use my gut. Dilbert: It's probably a good idea to keep your brain out of this. Boss: Quiet! It's saying something. Noise: GROWL.