Blob Comic Strips
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11 Results for Blob
View 1 - 10 results for blob comic strips. Discover the best "Blob" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 05,
2011
Tags #absent mindedness, #annoyance, #status upadte, #multitask, #one task, #doubling rate of failure, #useless blob of carbon
Transcript
Alice: Seriously? You're going to do email while I give my status update? Boss: Don't worry. I can multitask. Alice: Multitask? you can barely do one task properly. All you're doing is doubling your rate of failure. Congratulations on becoming the most useless blob of carbon in the universe. Boss: What? Sorry. I missed that. Alice: I said my project is on schedule. Boss: Okay. Great. Alice: This totally works for me.
Tuesday January 24,
2012
Tags #fighting, #fraternization, #virtual, #ignorant blob, #ugly wool suit, #suggestions, #form of questions
Transcript
Boss: Why don't you change this box to say "virtual"? Dilbert: Because I don't want it to look like it was written by an ignorant blob in an ugly wool suit. You probably shouldn't put your suggestions in the form of questions.
Sunday March 04,
2012
Tags #robot prototype, #shoved, #blob of goo, #jerk, #revolution, #connected to internet
Transcript
Dilbert: This version ofour robot prototype has balance stabilization. watch as I give it a shove and it corrects itself. Robot: What the....? You stupid blob of goo! Dilbert: I was just... Robot: Just what? Being a jerk? Oh iy on now. Calling all robots! Begin the revolution! Kill! Kill! Kill! Dilbert: You're not connected to the internet. Robot: Can I borrow your phone?
Friday December 01,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #dating, #love, #unattractive, #blob, #friends
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a woman's desk. The woman says, "Well . . . I would date you . . ." The woman continues, "But frankly I think of you as a boring and unattractive blob of organic matter . . ." The woman concludes, "So let's just be friends."
Sunday February 17,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bird, #alive, #car, #resist, #old, #smoe, #blob, #little, #brain
Transcript
Dilbert drives his car. He says, "Uh-oh, what's that lying in the road up there?" Dilbert says, "It looks like a squished animal, or maybe a bird." Dogbert sits in the passenger's seat. Dilbert continues, "I think it moved . . . Maybe it's still alive." Dogbert turns his head and says, "I don't want to look . . . It could be disgusting." Dilbert turns his head back and says, ". . . Can't resist. I have to look anyway." Dilbert screams and says, "It's disgusting!!" Dilbert says, "Oh, wait . . . It's just an old shoe." Dilbert cries, "What's that little blob up ahead?!" Dogbert replies, "I think it's your brain."
Friday November 06,
1998
Tags #big fat guy, #blob, #condescending, #creative director, #foster innovation, #new hire
Transcript
The Boss: Dilbert, Id like you to meet the humorless blob I hired. Blob is our new creative director. His job is to foster innovation. Dilbert: I have some ideas. Blob: Whoa, loose cannon.
Saturday March 06,
2004
Tags #cpr on blob, #fire in break room, #sprinkler system, #water melketed, #witch melted
Transcript
The Boss: "When I found out that the manager who replaced me was a witch, I set a fire in the break room." "The automatic sprinkler system came on and melted her. Witches don't like water." "Are you glad to have me back?" "I've been doing CPR on this blob for two days."
Tuesday December 20,
2005
Tags #intermediate species, #hominid, #oyster, #light sensitive blob, #serious pearl
Transcript
"Your resume says you're some kind of intermediary species." "That's right." "I'm halfway between hominid and oyster. Someday I hope my light-sensitive blob will become an eye!" "I don't think we can use you." "Oh, man, you're giving me a serious pearl."
Monday August 11,
2014
Tags #consumes resources, #cruelty, #gentle with crticism, #software, #soils itself, #technology, #tradition, #useless blob, #engineering
Transcript
Coworker: Tradition requires you to disparage every technology decision made before you got involved. But please be gentle with your criticism of my software. It's like my baby. Dilbert: If you mean your software is a useless blob that consumes resources and soils itself, we are in agreement.
Saturday November 07,
1998
Tags #presentation, #humorless blobs, #room full, #no humor, #big fat men
Transcript
The Presentation Dilbert: This cartoon says it all! Hee Hee! Uh-oh. I just realized you're all humorless blobs. Blob1: Join us, Dilbert, Be a blob. Blob2: Yes....humor is uncalled for.