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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #garbage, #cataloupe, #rinds, #newspaper, #sprinkled, #coffee, #grounds, #blue collar, #work, #romantic

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Dogbert asks the garbage man, "Mister Garbage Man, what is life?" The garbage man replies, "Well, Dogbert . . ." The garbage man continues, "Life is like old cantaloupe rinds wrapped in a faded newspaper and sprinkled with wet coffee grounds." Dogbert asks, "Life is garbage?" The garbage man replies, "Call me a romantic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #big business, #cost & standard of living, #green goals, #recycling bins, #company documents, #corporate secuirty, #blue recycling bins, #same policies

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Boss: To reach our green goals, employees must always use the blue recycling bins for company documents. To satisfy our corporate security guidelines, never put company documents in the blue recycling bins. Dilbert: You read those same policies to us last week. Boss: I don't know how to get rid of them.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #capital, #mud, #country, #blue, #jeans, #communism, #capitalism, #Dilbert

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The caption says, "Dilbert takes a slingshot ride to Elbonia's capital." Dilbert flies through the air thinking, "There it is . . ." Dilbert lands in the mud and thinks, "It's a good thing this whole country is made of mud." Dilbert says to two Elbonians and a pig, "I have come to teach you capitalism." A pig asks, "Did you bring blue jeans?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #designing, #greeting, #Card, #death, #occasion, #working, #humorous, #angle, #roses, #red, #violets, #blue, #cardboard, #stiff

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Dogbert stands at the table reading a card. Dilbert asks, "How are you coming on designing your greeting cards for death occasions?" Dogbert replies, "Okay. Now I'm working on the humorous angle." Dilbert reads, "Roses are red, / Violets are blue, / Cardboard is stiff, / And so are you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #straw, #loser, #kill, #abusive, #coworker, #floyd, #blue, #short, #murderer, #cheater

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Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "Everybody pick a straw. The loser has to kill our abusive co-worker, Floyd." Ted says, "Dilbert loses. He picked the blue straw." Dilbert says, "I thought the SHORT straw loses." Ted replies, "You're already a murderer; don't be a cheater too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #approved underwear list, #blue jeans, #forbidden clothes, #morale, #new casual dress code, #shorts, #tanktops

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The Boss: "I thought it necessary to provide detailed guidelines to our new casual dress code." "Forbidden clothing includes: shorts, tank tops, tee shirts, shirts with slogans, blue jeans, sneakers and sandals." Dilbert: "My morale is soaring." The Boss: "Appendix 'A' is the approved underwear list."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1996's comic on:


Tags #stake through heart, #demon mossed boss, #raisin sized heart, #blue betty pen

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Dilbert and Wally stand against the wall on either side of the door to Ted's office. Dilbert says, "Alice is ready to drive a stake through the heart of our demon-possessed boss." Wally and Dilbert hide in the hallway. From inside the office, they hear, "Whack, whack, whack!" Ted and Alice walk out the office door. Ted has many pens stuck in his chest. He says, "It's times like these when I'm glad my heart is the size of a raisin!" Alice says to Wally, "I need all of your pens, including 'Blue Betty.'" Wally's mouth hangs open in shock.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dog collar, #keep track, #employee slaves, #final humiliation, #cubicles, #gerbils, #rationalization, #mechanisms, #collar, #6 foot extension cord, #dog, #adapting, #animals

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The Boss: "Here's your employee locator device." "Sensors in the building will be able to track you at all times." "We'll know how many times you use the restroom and how long." "It's a dog collar...the final humiliation." "Once you got used to working in cubicles like gerbils, we knew anything was possible." "My conformance rationalization mechanisms are kicking in." "It's not so bad. A collar is simply an efficient design. Everyone is doing it." "It's not so bad." "It's powered by this six foot long extension cord."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #sales man, #vendor, #offcie, #fake personality, #buy stuff, #blue things, #so dumb

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Dilbert sits at a conference table with a salesperson. Dilbert says, "...And we'll buy a dozen of these. We're trying to spend our budget so it doesn't get cut next year." The salesperson says, "This is great! You guys are so dumb that I don't even have to use my fake personality to make the sale!" Dilbert says, "...And nine of these blue things." Salesperson turns away and pulls his pants down. The salesperson says, "There's a full moon on the horizon!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #digital archive, #worlds greatest art, #fix the errors, #artists, #errors, #too much blue

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The boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at the conference table. The boss says, "We won the bid to create a digital archive of the world's greatest art." The boss says, "This will give us a chance to fix any errors made by the artists." Wally says, "Errors?" The boss says, "For example, there was a guy who used too much blue for a whole period."