Boardwalk Empire Comic Strips
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16 Results for Boardwalk Empire
View 1 - 10 results for boardwalk empire comic strips. Discover the best "Boardwalk Empire" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 06,
2013
Tags #alcoholic beverages, #boardwalk empire, #degenerated, #experince, #forklift jousting, #free beer, #fridays, #team building
Transcript
Boss: The company will no longer offer free beer on Fridays. It started as a team-building experience, but it degenerated into forklift jousting in the warehouse. Wally: I'm going all "Boardwalk Empire" on you now, Volstead! Boss: I hope that means something good.
Saturday April 07,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #agreements, #deals, #existence, #empire, #seem larger, #paycheck, #fair plan, #awful world, #balckmail, #boss, #employee
Transcript
Wally: IF you agree to give me no work, I will agree to not sue you with some sort of bogus employee claim. My existence will make your empire seem larger, and stockholders will get stuck with the bill for my paycheck. Boss: Why does that seem like a fair plan? Wally: We live in an awful world.
Wednesday September 27,
1989
Tags #comrade, #dogsky, #electronic, #secrets, #soviet man, #microfiche, #hard copy, #cripple, #empire, #evil
Transcript
Dogbert walks down a sidewalk and a man in a trenchcoat says, "Pssst . . . Comrade Dogsky. Will you sell your master's electronic secrets to nice Soviet man?" Dogbert asks, "Will you be wanting them on microfiche or hard copy?" Back at home, Dilbert asks, "You're going to cripple the WHAT?" Dogbert, who is carrying plans, replies, "Evil empire. Trust me on this."
Friday August 28,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #computer, #minutes, #paid, #ripping, #evil, #corporate, #empire, #power, #secret, #myself, #nothing
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "Hey, I haven't done a thing for minutes and yet I still get paid." Dilbert clenches his fists and thinks, "Hoo-hoo-ha! I'm ripping off the evil corporate empire and there's nothing they can do about it! I have total power!" Dilbert thinks, "I'd better keep this little secret to myself." Another employee sits in his cubicle thinking, "Hey, I'm getting paid for doing nothing!"
Tuesday June 08,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #broadcast, #message, #computer, #geeks, #declare, #leader, #empire, #virtiual, #electronic, #venod, #exploiting, #leadership, #tradition
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types on the computer, "This is Dogbert, with a broadcast e-mail message to all computer geeks . . ." A man reads Dogbert's message on his computer. The message says, "I declare myself to be your leader, and I name my empire the 'Virtual Electronic Nation of Dogbert,' Venod for short." Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and says, "I assume you'll be exploiting the simple people of Venod for personal gain." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, it's a leadership tradition."
Sunday January 22,
1995
Tags #protects webs prodcuts, #engineer, #pads schedule, #six months, #build prodcut, #play doom, #computer, #add people, #tiny empire, #eighteen months, #sales people, #irrational desire, #beta test, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
Dogbert holds a pointer and stands next to the caption, "How Nature Protects Weak Products." The caption says, "First, the engineer pads his schedule." Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "Six months?" Dilbert replies, "At least." Dilbert thinks, "One month to build the product and five months to play 'Doom' on my computer." The caption says, "Then the manager pads the schedule as a clever negotiating ploy." The Boss tells an executive, "One year . . . Unless you add people to my tiny empire." The caption says, "Then the vice president pads the schedule to avoid looking bad to the president." The VP kisses the president's toes and says, "Eighteen months." The caption says, "Meanwhile, the sales people are making up numbers because nobody tells them anything." A man tells a woman, "Two months . . . And it solves every problem you have!" The caption says, "This causes the customers to develop irrational desire for the product." A woman says into the phone, "Give me the 'beta' test version in one month." The caption says, "Thus nature disguises weak products as 'beta.'" The woman looks at a device and says, "Cardboard? That's stupid." Dilbert replies, "Oh . . . Then it's beta."
Friday July 27,
2001
Tags #bonus, #did well, #hiring freeze, #shrink empire, #hand shaking situation, #hand, #questioning clean
Transcript
Wally is sitting at his desk. The Boss approaches from behind with a check in hand. He says, "The company did well so you get a bonus despite the fact you did no work all year." After handing Wally the check, The Boss continues, "I'd fire you but I can't replace you because there's a hiring freeze and I don't want to shrink my empire." The Boss fidgets nervously and says, "This might be a hand-shaking situation but I don't know where your hand has been." Wally continues to stare at his check and brushes The Boss with, "Off you go."
Saturday June 28,
2008
Tags #entire budget, #empire building, #work on trendy things, #vote to cut budget
Transcript
Filling in for the Pointy-Haired Boss A man says, "Does your department need its entire budget this year?" Dilbert says, "no, we'll waste most of it on empire building and appearing to work on trendy things." The man says, "All in favor of cutting this guy's budget in half?" Dilbert says, "I call do-over! Do-over!"
Tuesday August 03,
2010
Tags #empire consultant, #crown, #king, #employees, #undproductive, #ineffecient, #brow, #windshield, #business
Transcript
Dogbert the empire consultant Dogbert says, "Make your employees less productive. That way your CEO will let you hire more of them." Dogbert sys, "Inefficiency is the same thing as leadership. A king needs an entire country just to wipe his?" The Boss says, "Brow?" Dogbert says, "I was going to say windshield." The Boss says, "Brow is catchier."
Wednesday August 04,
2010
Tags #empire consultant, #crown, #king, #attendance, #present, #luck, #bit rate, #lab coat, #raise hand
Transcript
Dogbert the empire builder consultant Dogbert says, "Success is just attendance plus luck." Dogbert says, "You always want to be in the general vicinity when something good happens." Dilbert says, "Wow. I just doubled the bit rate." Boss says, "Present!"