Boost Intangible Benefits Comic Strips

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80 Results for Boost Intangible Benefits

View 1 - 10 results for boost intangible benefits comic strips. Discover the best "Boost Intangible Benefits" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 1994's comic on:


Tags #pretending, #personal lives, #interested, #management technique, #job satisfaction, #more money, #boost intangible benefits, #chisel away, #salaries, #families, #wife divorced, #job lowers self esteem, #attract mate, #said hello

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"Hi guys, how are your families?" "?" "?" "Why are you pretending to be interested in our personal lives?" "It's a management technique to increase your job satisfaction without giving you more money." "My plan is to boost your intangible benefits while continuing to chisel away at your salaries." "But enough about me...how are those families of yours?" "My wife divorced me because you make me work so many hours." "This job lowers my self-esteem too much to attract a mate." "Tell them I said 'hi'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #boss, #doesn't know, #being insulted, #with all due respect, #intangible benefits, #insulting, #monkey face

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Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "I discoverd that our pointy-haired boss doesn't know he's being insulted if you say, 'With all due respect' first." Wally thinks, "I love the intangible benefits of this job." The Boss is leaving his office. Wally says to him, "With all due respect, is that your face or is a monkey climbing down your shirt headfirst?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #regular employees, #paid less, #contract workers, #intangible benefits

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director Catbert is talking to the contract employee with glasses. Catbert says, "Yes, regular employees are paid less than contract emplyees such as yourself." Catbert says, "But if you join the company, you'll get many intangible benefits." The employee says, "Maybe your stockholders would like some intangible benefits. They can have mine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #intangible benefits, #earn money, #tangible benefits, #emplyees, #stcokholders, #stockholder meeting

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Catbert talks to the boss. The boss sits at his desk. Catbert says, "The employees aren't falling fror the old "intangible benefits" story anymore." The boss says, "Uh-oh. We don't earn enough money to give tangible benefits to employees AND stockholders." Caption: Stockholder meeting. The boss presents a sign that reads "Stock" and has a plummeting line. The boss says, "...Now let's discuss your intangible benefits..." One stockholder pulls a gun. Another stockholder waves his can and curses.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #ignorance (knowledge), #idiot, #health benefits, #social stigma, #healthy, #transition, #psychology

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Dilbert: I'm considering becoming an idiot so I can get the health benefits of happiness. It comes with a social stigma, but that's not a problem if I'm not aware that I'm an idiot. I feel healthy today, so there's a good chance I already made the transition. Dogbert: Yep.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #fake links, #boost search rank, #dung for barins, #shut your pie hole

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Dilbert: Google found out that we used fake links to boost our search rank. Now our website only shows up when someone enters the search string "dung for brains." Boss: They won't get away with this! Computer: Shut your pie hole.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #business ethics, #boost morale, #pretending to be intereted, #overkill, #unemployement, #brain, #fallout, #yawn hole

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Boss: I'm here to boost your morale by pretending to be interested in you as a human being. But it's probably overkill since unemployment is around 9% and you're not likely to quit. Dilbert: Still, it's nice to... Boss: That's enough! I don't want my brain to fall out of my yawn hole.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2012's comic on:


Tags #benefits of personhood, #chemical nutrients, #death & dying, #inventions, #petri dish, #robot, #scientific equipment, #skin cells, #sneezes, #science

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Wally: Before I die, I plan to put some of my skin cells in a petri dish with chemical nutrients and store it inside a robot. By law, I will still be alive as long as any part of my body is functioning. My robot will enjoy the full benefits of personhood. My robot and I will live forever! Dilbert: Until it sneezes you out.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #formula, #society, #benefits, #century, #discovery, #anti-gravity

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Dilbert sits on the wall and says to Dogbert, "My anti-gravity formula is the greatest discovery of this century!!" Dilbert looks down at Dogbert and says, "Just think of the benefits to society!!" Dogbert says, "You mean, after you float away?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #self, #service, #gas, #station, #attendant, #military, #benefits, #Women, #forms

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The caption says, "Day one: Dogbert's School for Self-Service Gas Station Attendants." A student raises his hand and says, "Question." The man asks, "Do service station employees qualify for military benefits?" Dogbert replies, "I don't think so." The man asks, "Can we fool women with these uniforms?"