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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2002's comic on:

Tags #nitwit hates ogre, #ogre ate nitwit, #borrow nit iwt, #requisition, #work, #coffee room, #break room, #ogre, #nit wit, #coworkers, #new hires

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Dilbert and Alice are at the coffee machine. Alice says, "My project is being stalled because my nitwit hates my ogre, and my #$&%! won't do any work." Dilbert responds, "My ogre ate my nitwit and my #$&%! is trying to blame me for it." Alice asks, "Do you want to borrow my nitwit?" Dilbert responds, "No, I have a requisition in."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #borrow, #car, #cruising, #vote, #tie, #change, #decision, #demand, #recount

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dilbert says, "No, you may NOT borrow the car to go cruising." Dogbert says, "I think we should vote on it." Dilbert replies, "Heh-heh . . Okay, but a tie means no change in the decision." Dogbert says, "Fair enough." Dogbert thinks as he drives the car, "I'm glad he didn't demand a recount."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 1994's comic on:

Tags #first draft, #sugesstions, #nit picking, #break up of marriage, #Wally, #over does, #critical

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Wally hands Dilbert a binder and says, "I made a few thousand suggestions on your first draft." Wally continues, "Of all the pleasures of life, I think I like nit-picking the best!" Dilbert takes the report and says, "That could explain the break-up of your marriage." Wally says, "You wouldn't believe what SHE thought was fun."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 1996's comic on:

Tags #new boss is posessed, #evil force, #one solution, #drive stake, #heart, #be cruel, #borrow pen, #wimpy retractable

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Dilbert and Alice approach Dogbert who is sitting on a desk. Dilbert says, "My new boss is possessed by an evil force. We need your advice, Dogbert." Dogbert responds, "There is only one solution. You must drive a stake through his heart." Dilbert says, "There's no way we could be so cruel!!" Alice holds up a pen and says, "Can I borrow your pen? All I have is this wimpy retractable."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 1997's comic on:

Tags #linch time, #sandwich, #cafetria, #borrow five dollars, #keep professional, #girl like dilbert, #untamed beast

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Tina the Tech Writer says to Dilbert, "It's noon. Let's grab a sandwich at the cafeteria." Dilbert replies, "Okay, but make sure that's ALL you grab. I'd like to keep this on a professional basis." Dilbert adds, "And I'll need to borrow five dollars." Tina sighs and thinks, "He's like a beautiful, untamed beast."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1997's comic on:

Tags #reduce expenses, #essentail jobs, #business cards, #borrow some

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In order to reduce expenses, only the employees in essential jobs may have business cards." Wally, Dilbert and Alice think, "I'd better order some business cards to find out if I'm 'essential.'" The Boss says to his secretary, "Carol, order some new business cards for me." Carol replies, "Ooh. No can do. But you can borrow some of mine."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #walk, #nature, #wonderful, #planet, #children, #strangers, #borrow, #collateral, #smoking, #shell, #overlooked, #Environment, #situation, #want, #selfish

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Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert says, "Nature is so wonderful . . ." Dilbert continues, "They say we don't leave the planet to future generations, we borrow it from our children." Dogbert says, "It's even better than that." Dogbert continues, "WE don't have children, so we're borrowing the planet from complete strangers!" Dogbert continues, "And there's no collateral. We can use up the planet, have great lives and leave an empty smoking shell to the strangers!" Dogbert continues, "I tell you, people have completely overlooked the positive side of this environment situation." Dilbert says, "But someday I WANT to have children." Dogbert replies, "Let's hope they're not as selfish as you."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2000's comic on:

Tags #booby trap cucbilce, #borrow guest chair, #in slices cubicle, #dilbert snagged, #upside down, #hanging, #rope, #innocent, #trapped

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Alice returns to her cubicle to find Dilbert hanging upside-down in the trap she set. Dilbert asks Alice, "Alice, did you booby-trap your cubicle?" Alice answers, "The question is, why are you in my cubicle?" Dilbert replies, "What if I promise to never again borrow your guest chair?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2001's comic on:

Tags #company's core values, #trust, #integrity, #team work, #borrow a chair, #selling on ebay

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Asok thinks to himself, "I must keep in mind our company's core values of trust, integrity and teamwork." Wally enters Asok's cubicle and says, "May I borrow your chair?" Asok says, "Okay" Wally is at the computer as Dilbert approaches and asks, "What are you selling on E-Bay?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2001's comic on:

Tags #ethical to clone, #boss, #borrow cloner, #souls abomination, #souls irrelevant

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Dilbert asks The Garbageman, "My boss asked me to clone him. Is that unethical?" The Garbageman replies, "You'll either create a soulless abomination or, if the clone is normal, you will have shown that souls are irrelevant." Dilbert asks, "What if the original is already a soulless abomination?" The Garbageman replies, "You can borrow my cloner. It's in the truck."