Boss Comes In Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss Comes In

View 1 - 10 results for boss comes in comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Comes In" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #one ear, #email, #instant message, #pager, #messages, #boss comes in, #work stories, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dilbert says, "I had my cell phone at one ear and my regular phone at the other." Dilbert continues, "I'm reading e-mail, sending instant messages, my pager is vibrating, and my boss comes in!" Dogbert says, "You know what makes your work stories fascinating?" Dilbert asks. "What?" Dogbert continues, "Nothing."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answer phone, #trick question, #meeting, #better get this, #phone rings, #ignores boss call, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss comes up behind Wally who sits at his desk. The boss says, "Wally, I've been calling you for two hours! Why don't you answer your phone?" Wally says, "Is that a trick question?" The boss says, "Wally, unless your in a meeting.." The phone rings. Wally says, "Hold on. I'd better get this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new corporate policy, #boss reads, #alice, #falls asleep, #boring, #wordy dcoument

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss comes into Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, we have a new corporate policy." The Boss continues, "And I quote..." The Boss begins reading, "'Initiate the description for the criteria of requirements...'" Alice looks on as the Boss continues, "'...By developing a framework for the application architecture...'" Alice's eyes begin to droop and she thinks, "So tired." The Boss continues, "'Consistent with the planning corridor specified in our strategic initiative..." Alice's head rests on the keyboard and she is asleep. The Boss says, "Did you get all that?" The Boss goes into Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, come here for a minute?" Wally goes into Alice's cubicle with the Boss and the Boss holds out a piece of paper and asks, "Read this and tell me if she's doing any of it right now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget estimate, #useful numbers, #boss hibernation, #say number, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss comes in and says, "I need your budget estimate today." Asok replies, "We won't have useful numbers until next week." Dilbert turns and says, "It doesn't work that way, Asok." Asok says, "No?" Asok and Dilbert approach the Boss who stares blankly into space. Dilbert explains, "As soon as he asked the question, he went into 'boss hibernation.'" Dilbert waves his hand in front of his face and says, "He can't see or hear anything until we say a number. Watch." Dilbert says, "Three million dollars." The Boss comes to and says, "Uhn!" The Boss walks away and says, "Three million. Good work." Dilbert says, "The first time I saw it, I panicked and ended up with a budget of $911."

Boss Comes To Work Sick

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Comes To Work Sick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sick, #sickness, #illness, #contagious, #sick days, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have to warn you-- I have a fever and I'm tripping on cold medicine. Alice: Thank you for coming to work and infecting all of us, you selfish, addle-brained plague rat. Boss: I was going for "courageous." Dilbert: Do Wally first, so I can watch him spasm.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert the temo worker, #demand respect, #eye contact, #peripheral vision

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert shouts from inside his box, "I'm only a temp, but I demand respect!!" Ratbert continues, "Okay, maybe that's too much to ask. But I demand that somebody make eye contact with me!!" The Boss comes by. He looks at Ratbert and says, "How's this?" Ratbert, who has grabbed hold of the Boss's tie, shouts, "That's peripheral vision!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #top priority, #project classified, #email, #project not feasible, #quality festival

View Transcript

Transcript

As Dilbert is working on the computer, The Boss comes over and says, "I fought to get your project classified as our top priority." Dilbert turns around and asks, "Did you get my e-mail saying the project isn't feasible?" The boss walks off and thinks, "I'll wait until tomorrow to tell him he's chairman of the 'quality festival'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coaching session, #never returned call, #obstacle course, #unpleasant coworker, #blissful, #productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Office obstacle course." Dilbert walks down the hall. He sees another man and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's Phil. I never returned his call. Walk faster." Dilbert runs into the elevator as the doors close. He thinks, "Yes!!" Dilbert peers around a corner and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's an unpleasant co-worker who wants to be my friend." Dilbert walks behind Wally and a woman and thinks, "The clever engineer blends with the herd to avoid detection." Dilbert stands by Alice's desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, I owe Alice some information." Alice's phone rings. As Alice answers the phone, Dilbert runs by her desk and thinks, "Yes!!" Dilbert looks behind him and thinks, "There's only one more obstacle between me and blissful productivity." The Boss comes around the corner. Dilbert runs into the Boss and shouts, "My whole day is ruined!!!" The Boss says, "It looks like you need a one-on-one coaching session."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #measurable objective, #technical writer, #measure good writing, #number of words, #compare projects to wood, #dogmatic babbling manager, #cognitive surrender

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk. He says, "Tina, we need to set measurable objectives for you." Tina responds, "I'm a technical writer. How can you measure good writing?" The Boss says, "Everything is measurable is you try hard enough." Tina asks, "Is that your well-measured opinion?" She continues, "Or is it the dogmatic babbling of a manager in total cognitive surrender?" The Boss comes back with, "For example, we could measure the number of words you type." He adds, "We'll have to subtract words you delete. That way we won't motivate the wrong behavior." Tina is now at her desk, typing. She has written, "In this edition of Tina's hourly newsletter, I compare our projects to various types of wood."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analysis, #ask unnecessary cahnges, #stop ahead, #analysis unnecessary, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss comes into Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, did you finish the analysis for tomorrow?" Wally answers, "No." Wally continues, "I'm waiting until the last minute so you won't have time to ask for unnecessary changes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "I'm already one step ahead of him- the analysis itself is unnecessary."