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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1996's comic on:


Tags #engineer up, #management support, #meeting, #boss ego, #master at work, #promised customer, #full management support, #sales meeting, #business

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need your full management support in this meeting with sales." The Boss replies, "Just watch the master at work." A man says to the Boss, "I promised a customer a product that we don't make. You need to engineer-up a thousand units by early next week." The Boss asks, "Is Thursday okay?" As they walk away, the Boss says to Dilbert, "Wait until he finds out that Thursday isn't 'early next week.' Hee hee!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1998's comic on:


Tags #project plan, #strategy, #leadership, #radiates, #boss ego, #proud, #strategy is plan

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Dilbert at his computer terminal. The Boss says, "Is your project plan done?" Diblert ressonds, "I can't do a plan until you tell me the strategy." The Boss says, "My strategy is to make you do a plan." Dilbert stares at his computer. The Boss walks away and thinks, "Sometimes the leadership just radiates from my body."

Making Your Boss Look Good

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Making Your Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #criticism, #ego, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #responsibility

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Boss: You did this wrong. Dilbert: That's how you trained me to do it. Bob: You need to learn to take responsibility for my mistakes. It's called "making your boss look good". Dilbert: Maybe you could help a little too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1997's comic on:


Tags #ego, #pointy haired boss, #standing in offcie, #thimble sized morale, #tic tac container, #protect

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Dilbert tells Wally, ". . . So our pointy-haired boss put me in charge of your project . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Because I was standing in his office when he thought about the project." Dilbert says, "If it makes you feel better, you can keep your morale in this thimble with mine." Wally replies, "I keep mine in a 'Tic Tac' container with my ego."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1997's comic on:


Tags #everyone talks funny, #not morons, #incapable, #clear communication, #think outside box, #watch ego, #before ego dies, #rebel, #do it

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The Boss sits at his desk. Asok the Intern says, "I finally figured out why everyone talks so funny in this company." Asok says, "We're not morons who are incapable of clear communication. We're rebels who like to 'think outside the box.'" The Boss says, "It's always fascinating to watch and ego just before is dies." Asok says, "I'm a rebel! Task me witha 'do it'.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1997's comic on:


Tags #albert einstein, #marketing, #idea, #never work, #don't fully understand, #albert, #quite an ego, #experienced managers, #work smarter, #not harder, #business

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What if...Albert Einstien had been in marketing? Dogbert stands excited. Albert Einstien hands a piece of paper to The Boss who sits behind his desk. Einstien says, "I have a great idea for increasing sales." The Boss reads report. The Boss says, "Nope. This will never work." Einstien asks, "Um...is it possible that you don't fully understand the idea?" The Boss says, "That's quite an ego you have there, Allan." Einstein frowns. Einstein says, "Albert." The Boss walks Einstien out of his office. The Boss says, "Experienced managers know how to identify bad ideas...." The Boss says, "Bad ideas come from other people. Now go work smarter, not harder." Einstien walks away. The Boss thinks, "I worry that a guy like that will go off and build a huge bomb."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #product design, #consumer electronics, #form emotional bond, #ego influenced, #design process

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Product designer Dogbert: I bring you the future of product design for consumer electronics. Dogbert: Behold Natures perfect shape! your customers will form and emotional bond, Dilbert: Do you think your ego influenced the design process? The boss: Its wagging. Dogbert: Bah!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2013's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #good leader, #ego, #great leaders, #awesome, #business

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Catbert: A good leader puts his team ahead of his own ego. Boss: What do great leaders do? I'm thinking it's the opposite, right? Catbert: They don't do what you just did. Boss: They don't be awesome?

Boss Can't Be Your Friend

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Boss Can't Be Your Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #boss, #double standard, #employee, #hierarchy, #lunch, #rank, #guest artist, #jake tapper

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Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.

Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good

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Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #insults, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.