Boss Is Alien Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Boss Is Alien
View 1 - 10 results for boss is alien comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Is Alien" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 22,
1998
Tags #earthlings, #susupicous, #competent and caring, #aliens, #aline dressed as boss, #helpful to carol
Transcript
In an alien space craft, two aliens converse with one another. One is dressed as The Boss and holds a 'The Boss' mask. The Boss is in a containment unit. The Boss alien says, "I think the earthlings are getting suspicious." As The Boss alien puts his mask on, the other alien replies, "Keep acting competent and caring. Our prisoner says that's how leaders act on their world." Back in the office, Carol sits at her computer terminal while The Boss says, "Carol, let me do the org chart on my PC. You have too much work already." Carol yelps, "AAAGH!"
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Saturday May 16,
1998
Tags #optimistic assumptions, #revenue target, #visited by alien, #our new pordcut, #autopsy video, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a line graph titled, "$". Dilbert says, "I had to make some optimistic assumptions to meet the revenue target." The Boss is sitting behind Dilbert, looking at the graph. Dilbert continues, "In week three, we're visited by an alien named D'utox Inag who offers to share his advanced technology." The Boss asks, "Then do we use his technology to design our new product?" Dilbert replies, "No, we kill him and sell the autopsy video."
Thursday July 23,
1998
Tags #real boss, #prison tube, #spaceship, #wear shorts, #quality of work, #replaced by alien, #boss is alien, #no one knows
Transcript
Alien The Boss, with his tail wagging behind him, walks through the office thinking, "No one really suspects that the real Boss is on a prison tube on my spaceship." Asok the Intern asks, "Is it okay if I wear shorts?" Alien The Boss responds, "Sure. I only care about the quality of your work." Asok, Alice, and Dilbert eating lunch. Asok asks, "If our boss were replaced by an alien, would that be such a bad thing?" Dilbert replies, "It depends on the alien."
Friday July 24,
1998
Tags #boss replaced, #highly intelligent alien, #held captive, #hideous aliem prison, #just an observation
Transcript
Dogbert sitting on the couch. Dilbert sitting on floor. Dilbert says, "Apparently my boss has been replaced by a highly intelligent alien." Dilbert faces Dogbert and continues, "That means my real boss is being held captive in some sort of hideous alien prison." Dogbert asks, "What do you plan to do about it?" Dilbert replies, "It was just an observation."
Saturday July 25,
1998
Tags #management secrets, #earthling, #fulltime aliens, #ufo, #plowed into alp, #sharing skills, #boss and aliens
Transcript
The Boss is naked in a prison tube on an alien spacecraft. Two aliens outside the tube. One says, "Tell us your management secrets, earthling." The Boss responds, "You have too many full-time aliens flying this UFO. Downsize half of them, then roll out the ISO 9001 process." Back in the office, Dilbert and Alice listen as The Boss, who is supported by crutches and has a perplexed look on his face, finishes his story. "...But despite all of my help, they still plowed into a snow-covered alp."
Thursday January 25,
2007
Tags #alien, #technology, #superior being, #moron, #yammering, #about linux, #easy come
Transcript
ALIEN: I came from a distant planet to bring you advanced technology, but no one here will listen!" "I am a superior being, you moron! Listen to what I tell you and then do it!" THE BOSS: I fired him before he started yammering about Linux." Catbert: Easy come, easy go."
Tuesday May 24,
2016
Boss Can't Be Your Friend
Tags #boss, #double standard, #employee, #hierarchy, #lunch, #rank, #guest artist, #jake tapper
Transcript
Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.
Thursday November 08,
2018
Making Your Boss Look Good
Tags #boss, #criticism, #ego, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #responsibility
Transcript
Boss: You did this wrong. Dilbert: That's how you trained me to do it. Bob: You need to learn to take responsibility for my mistakes. It's called "making your boss look good". Dilbert: Maybe you could help a little too.
Friday November 09,
2018
Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good
Tags #boss, #employees, #insults, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm
Transcript
Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.
Saturday November 10,
2018
Fyi Boss
Tags #boss, #email, #managers & supervisors
Transcript
Boss: I've decided to be more of an "FYI Boss". I'll forward emails that already went to every employee and add a note saying, "FYI". Dilbert: Do you call that managing? Boss: No, I call it leading.