Boss Meeting Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Boss Meeting
View 1 - 10 results for boss meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 28,
2012
Tags #apathy, #late, #setting priorities, #boss, #meeting, #excuse, #conference table, #coffee cup, #apology, #business
Transcript
Boss: Sorry I'm late. It's because the least important thing I do is way more important than all of you put together. One way to look at it is that I'm great at setting priorities.
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Wednesday July 16,
1997
Tags #babbled, #boss, #meeting, #appointment, #office, #blah blah, #can't shut up, #business
Transcript
Asok the intern sits on a couch and the Boss sits in a chair. Asok holds a paper. The Boss gestures and says, "Blah, blah, blah." Asok thinks, "I only have thirty minutes and he's babbled for twenty-eight." Asok thinks, "It took three weeks to get on his calendar. My only hope is to send esp messages for him to shut up." Asok presses his hands to his temples, shuts his eyes tightly and thinks, "Shut up," over and over. He's sweating. The Boss continues to say, "Blah, blah, blah." Carol, the Boss's secretary, says to Asok, "Nice try, but it's time for his next filibuster."
Thursday July 04,
2002
Tags #coffee with the boss, #meeting, #feel free, #don't hold back, #squeaky chair, #ungrateful wretch, #name calling, #business
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "You're the first employee for my 'Coffee with the Boss' program." The Boss continues, "Feel free to say whatever is on your mind. Don't hold back. Give it to me straight." Dilbert says, "My chair has a squeak." The Boss yells, "You ungrateful whiny wretch!!!"
Tuesday April 15,
2003
Tags #unspecified short comings, #co worker, #accuser, #witness protection program, #boss, #meeting, #business
Transcript
Dilbert sits in The Boss' office. The Boss says, "A co-worker who shall remain nameless has accused you of unspecified shortcomings." The Boss continues, "Your accuser has been placed in the witness protection program." Dilbert asks, "You have a program for that?" The Boss replies, "Actually, I just forget who says what."
Sunday October 21,
2001
Tags #bad attitude, #bad news, #bad perfromance, #boss meeting, #downsized, #dump, #free from tyranny, #rational, #profits
Transcript
Catbert is standing in the doorway of The Boss' office. Catbert says, "Bad news." Catbert continues, "The employees figured out that they won't get raises next year because profits are in the dumps." The Boss gasps. Catbert's voice continues, "And they're being rational about it." Asok says to Wally, "We are free from the tyranny of having to work hard for raises." Wally exclaims, "Ooh-yah!" Wally continues, "But there's a delicate balance because we don't want to be down-sized." Wally continues, "I figure we can either have bad attitudes or bad performance but not both." Asok says, "I think I'll try having a bad attitude." Wally replies, "'I'm a bad performance man myself." Wally and Asok are sitting in The Boss' office. Wally says, "I just realized that my entire job can be done by guessing." Asok says, "Hey, dip-weed."
Thursday October 17,
2013
Tags #honesty, #under informed, #less clever, #good point, #another direction, #boss meeting
Transcript
Boss: You didn't handle this the way I told you. Dilbert: In my defense, you're under-informed and less clever than me. I was hoping he'd say, "Good point," but it went another direction.
Tuesday October 22,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #severance, #package, #krazy, #glued, #farm, #animals, #still, #boss, #deal, #bureaucracy, #fire, #meeting, #run, #long, #animal, #behavior, #the boss
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and a man sit at a conference table. Dilbert asks Wally, "Any luck trying to get fired?" Wally replies, "No . . But I'll get that severance package yet." Wally continues, "This morning I Krazy-glued farm animals to the Boss, but he STILL won't deal with all the bureaucracy to fire me." The Boss has a chicken glued to his head and a pig and a cow glued to each arm. The Boss says, "The staff meeting may run a little long today."
Monday September 13,
1993
Friday July 05,
1996
Tags #pre meeting, #preliminary pre meeting meeting, #without planning, #think funny, #wally dilbert, #the boss
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Let's have a little premeeting to prepare for the meeting tomorrow." Dilbert says, "Whoa! Do you think it's safe to jump right into the premeeting without planning it?" The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, let's get this preliminary premeeting meeting going." Wally says to Dilbert, "You think you're funny, but you're not."
Wednesday July 10,
1996
Tags #engineer up, #management support, #meeting, #boss ego, #master at work, #promised customer, #full management support, #sales meeting, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need your full management support in this meeting with sales." The Boss replies, "Just watch the master at work." A man says to the Boss, "I promised a customer a product that we don't make. You need to engineer-up a thousand units by early next week." The Boss asks, "Is Thursday okay?" As they walk away, the Boss says to Dilbert, "Wait until he finds out that Thursday isn't 'early next week.' Hee hee!"