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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1997's comic on:


Tags #boss plane crash, #leave early, #mixed feelings, #plane crash, #want cake, #mourn, #celebrate

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Alice leans into the conference room where Wally and Dilbert are sitting at the table. Alice says, "I just heard that our pointy-haired boss's plane crashed." Wally says, "I must admit I have mixed feelings." Dilbert says, "You don't know if you should mourn or celebrate, right?" Wally says, "No, I mean celebrate or leave early." Asok the Intern walk in wearing a party hat and says, "Hurry if you want some cake."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #survive, #plane, #crash, #worcestershire sauce, #whack, #cannabal, #meat, #tenderizer, #wonder, #body

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Dilbert, Dogbert, a captain and several people stand on a snow-covered mountain. Off in the distance is a crashed airplane. A man in a pilot's uniform says, "I've survived several jet crashes this year, so listen to me." The man continues, "The best way to prevent frostbite is to rub Worcestershire sauce on your body and whack yourself repeatedly with a meat tenderizer." As people pour sauce on themselves Dilbert thinks, "I wonder why he had enough of these for everybody?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 1997's comic on:


Tags #agenda, #ubr, #first job, #crash dummies, #spent a fortune, #unfocused boss rambling

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Dilbert passes out paper to The Boss and Wally. The boss has a pencil and Wally has a coffee mug. Dilbert says, "Here's the agenda. The first hour will be U.B.R., as usual." The Boss sits at the conference table with Wally and Alice. He says, "This reminds me of my first job, before crash test dummies were popular. man, I spent a fortune on aspirin." Alice asks Dilbert, who has his feet up on the table, "What exactly is U.B.R.?" Dilbert answers, 'Unfocused Boss Rambling. Only 58 minutes to go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 1998's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #class in cobol, #learn on plane, #scuba lessons

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Dilbert sits at his computer. The Boss stands in the doorway of his cubicle. The boss says, "I'm sending you to Elbonia to teach a class in cobol." Dilbert says, "I don't know cobol." The boss says, "Maybe you can learn it on the plane." Dilbert glares at the Boss over the wall of his cubicle. The Boss walks away. Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll take some scuba lessons up there too." The Boss thinks, "I'm making my getaway."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2003's comic on:


Tags #big picture, #drifting, #floating, #above earth, #plane, #coach, #in plane

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Dilbert: "I recommend that we look at the big picture and view it from 20,000 feet." The Boss: "Drifting.. floating above the Earth.. wait.. a plane is coming right at me! NO-O-O-O!!!" Dilbert: "Maybe you should imagine you're in the plane." The Boss: "GAAAA!! I'm in coach!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #phone calls, #plane, #hello jack, #hi jack, #misunderstood, #scared people, #flight attendant, #alraming, #irplane, #learning from trip

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The Boss: what were your key learnings from the trip? Dilbert: I learned that there are people you shouldn't call from a plane. Earlier that day Dilbert: Hi Jack!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #servers crash, #verify, #accomplishment, #awesome, #back of head, #business

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Wally says, "Our servers were about to crash, so I wrote a suite of scripts to keep them running." The Boss says, "Your accomplishments are suspiciously hard to verify." Wally says, "So, recapping what we know for sure, you're an inadequate verifier, and you can't rule out the possibility that I'm awesome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2005's comic on:


Tags #alice, #boss, #car call, #diustarcted, #made distracted, #driving, #crashed

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Rrring! Alice : Now what? This is alice. Jo its your boss. alice: GAAA! its a car call. he's using me toenetratin himself while he's sitting in traffic Boss: How everything? Alice: I'll lose and hour of my life if I don't get him off the phone, Boss: Nice weather today. Alice: Do me a favor and look in your brief case to see if my latest report is there. The boss: Okay. The boss: and turn down your radio so Ic an hear you...and check your calendar on you pda GAA!!! CRASH! IM going to hell.

Boss Can't Be Your Friend

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Boss Can't Be Your Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #boss, #double standard, #employee, #hierarchy, #lunch, #rank, #guest artist, #jake tapper

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Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.

Making Your Boss Look Good

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Making Your Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #criticism, #ego, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #responsibility

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Boss: You did this wrong. Dilbert: That's how you trained me to do it. Bob: You need to learn to take responsibility for my mistakes. It's called "making your boss look good". Dilbert: Maybe you could help a little too.