Boss Sings Shaft Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Boss Sings Shaft
View 1 - 10 results for boss sings shaft comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Sings Shaft" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 05,
1994
Tags #japanese model, #copy best practices, #long term investing, #boss sings shaft
Transcript
The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss says, "We've studied the Japanese model and decided to copy their best practices." Dilbert says, "Long term investing?" The Boss holds up a microphone and yells, "Karaoke!" The Boss stands on the table and sings, "Shaft! Can you dig it?" Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "Thank God we don't have lifetime employment."
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Friday April 17,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #boss, #report, #reading, #anything, #sit, #feeling, #bottles, #beer, #wall
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk thinking, "I sit here motionless while the Boss reads my report." Dilbert thinks, "I can't talk while he's reading, and I don't have anything of my own to read . . ." The Boss reads the report and thinks, "I wonder how long I can make him sit there feeling uncomfortable?" Dilbert sings to himself, "A hundred bottles of beer on the wall."
Sunday April 07,
1996
Tags #boss zone, #no time, #no logic, #urgent work, #relax, #work smarter, #not harder, #angel of cynicism, #inspirational moral, #freedom, #not caring, #quality of work
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Go home, Dilbert. Relax! You're working too hard!" Dilbert sits at his desk and says, "You told me to finish this by tomorrow. You said it's urgent." The Boss waves his arms and says, "Relax! Go home! Shoo!" The caption says, "Suddenly Dilbert is sucked into the 'Boss Zone' where time and logic do not apply." Dilbert's head disappears into a hole in time. Dilbert floats by the Boss's head and asks, "How can I relax AND do urgent work at the same time?" The Boss replies, "Work smarter, not harder." Dilbert grabs his head and screams. The caption says, "Mercifully, the angel of cynicism appears." Dogbert flies up to Dilbert and says, "Slap something together in the morning. He won't look at it anyway." The caption says, "The inspirational moral . . ." Dilbert puts his coat on and leaves the office. He sings, "Freedom's just another word for not caring about the quality of your work!"
Tuesday May 24,
2016
Boss Can't Be Your Friend
Tags #boss, #double standard, #employee, #hierarchy, #lunch, #rank, #guest artist, #jake tapper
Transcript
Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.
Thursday November 08,
2018
Making Your Boss Look Good
Tags #boss, #criticism, #ego, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #responsibility
Transcript
Boss: You did this wrong. Dilbert: That's how you trained me to do it. Bob: You need to learn to take responsibility for my mistakes. It's called "making your boss look good". Dilbert: Maybe you could help a little too.
Friday November 09,
2018
Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good
Tags #boss, #employees, #insults, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm
Transcript
Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.
Saturday November 10,
2018
Fyi Boss
Tags #boss, #email, #managers & supervisors
Transcript
Boss: I've decided to be more of an "FYI Boss". I'll forward emails that already went to every employee and add a note saying, "FYI". Dilbert: Do you call that managing? Boss: No, I call it leading.
Thursday November 29,
2018
Everyone Is Their Own Boss
Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #employees, #company
Transcript
Man: At my company, every employee is their own boss. Dilbert: How do you make decisions? Man: Can I get back to you when we make one? It's only been two years.
Monday July 08,
2019
Boss Needs Copies
Tags #boss, #frustrated, #irritation, #office, #office workers
Transcript
Boss: I need three copies of this. Carol: You just literally walked past the copier. Boss: Sheesh! Forget it! Just shred the stupid document. Carol: The shredder is right behind you.
Thursday July 11,
2019
Boss Surgery
Tags #boss, #brain, #employees, #insults, #surgery
Transcript
Asok: There's a new surgery that can turn employees into bosses. Boss: How can surgery turn an employee into a boss? Dr: You won't be needing this.