Bottle Vodka Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

28 Results for Bottle Vodka

View 1 - 10 results for bottle vodka comic strips. Discover the best "Bottle Vodka" comics from Dilbert.com.

Donuts 'N Vodka

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Donuts 'N Vodka - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cognitive control, hiring, job interview, self control, temptation, prediction of success, donut, laptop, bottle vodka, resist

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Your experience is impressive, but a better predictor of success is your cognitive control. I will leave you for ten minutes with a donut, a laptop full of inappropriate videos, and a bottle of vodka. Try to resist them. Man: Yee-ha! Mmm-mm! Catbert: Do not go in there.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags charity, bottle caps, fund, chemo, pro children, snopes.com, internet hoax, award mug

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Thanks to your leadership, we collected twenty thousand bottle caps to help fund chemo for poor children. And thanks to your... whatever... we checked snopes.com and learned that the bottle cap thing was an internet hoax. I only brought one teamwork award mug, so you'll have to take turns drinking from it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, headache, trick, doctor, pharmacist, bottle, pharmacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into a drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have something for a headache?" The pharmacist hands Dilbert a bottle and says, "I'm pretty sure this will do the trick." Dilbert says, "Thanks." The pharmacist thinks, "I wonder if he meant something to GET RID of a headache. Nah . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, bottle, wine, distinctive, special, destined, cork, sniffers, Dogbert, love

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Dogbert, "To me, a woman is like a fine bottle of wine." Dilbert explains, "Each one is familiar, yet distinctive and special." Dogbert says, "In the wine of life, some people are destined to be cork-sniffers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dot com ceo, no profit, laid off, laid off means, compliment, baby bottle, youngsters, meeting, firing people, business

View Transcript

Transcript

DILBERT: DOT-COM CEO: Dilbert sits at the head of a table and children sit in seats around the table. One of the children has a baby bottle at his place. Dilbert says, "We have no profit now and we never will. You're all laid off." The child with the baby bottle asks, "Does anyone know what laid off means?" A young man says, "It must be a compliment." The young man says to Dilbert, "You're pretty laid off yourself, dude." The child offers his baby bottle to Dilbert and says, "Want a hit of this?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags find calling, life and waste, metal detector, no to bottle cap, priceless treasure

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is walking down the hallway with a metal detector. Alice asks him, "Wally, what do you expect to find here with a metal detector?" Wally responds, "My first choice is some sort of priceless treasure. But I wouldn't say no to a bottle cap." Alice leaves and Wally thinks to himself, "I finally find my calling in life and I waste all day explaining it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags habitual liar, skull, talking skull, running marathin, genie in bottle

View Transcript

Transcript

Habitual Liar: Alice: Are you sticking with you story that you're still alive?" Liar: "I feel terrific!" "I'm running a marathon later today." Low Priced Cremations While You Wait "I'm a gennie in a bottle! Make a wish!" Alice: "GAAA!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inventions, win battle, developing better tv sets, digital couch, butt warmer, bottle opener, back scratcher, control lights, temperature, buttocks like a mouse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: The biggest tech companies want to win the battle for your living room. But they are unwisely focusing on developing better TV sets. Today I give you me design for a fully digital couch. It has all of the features you would expect, including a butt warmer, surround sound, bottle opener and back scratcher. But you can also control the lights, curtains, temperature and TV by using your buttocks like a mouse on the seat cushion. This is a loft click and... this is a right. The prototype arrives tomorrow, and I'll be testing it for the next six months. Maybe I'll sell my house.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, wasting, madonna, sun tan, lotion, applicator, barbie

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, "While you were wasting your time at work I came up with a million dollar idea." Dogbert shows Dilbert a bottle with a doll on the top. Dogbert says, "It's the 'Madonna Sun Tan Lotion Applicator' for lonely guys!!" Dilbert says, "I'll take one." Dogbert says, "It looks like Barbie on a stick, but it's Madonna."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, death, therapist, sorrow, bottled, legally, inherit, humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert lies on a couch and says to a therapist, "I haven't been able to cry over Dilbert's death." The psychologist takes notes. Dogbert continues, "I really miss him, but I keep my sorrow bottle inside." The psychiatrist asks, "Did you know that dogs can't legally inherit from humans?" Dogbert bawls.