Witch: So... You've come to the accounting department for an explanation of the budget report, aye? Unchain him, Bradley. Normally we would torture and kill you for questioning our report.
Dilbert: But you realized that my questions are valid?
Witch: No. I'm promoting Bradley. You're my new analyst.
Dilbert says to a witch, "No! You can't force me to work in accounting! I'm an engineer!" The witch replies, "It's too late . . ." The witch explains, "You came . . . You breathed the air . . . The change is irreversible . . . Bradley will train you." Spikes grow out of Dilbert's back and he begins to turn into a troll. Dilbert says, "I'm starting to get a bad attitude about this job . . ." Bradley the Troll replies, "Good. I can skip that part of the training."
The caption says, "Dilbert is forced to work in the accounting department." Dilbert has turned into a troll. Bradley the Troll says, "First you must understand how numbers change reality . . ." Bradley continues, "Some people think numbers merely REFLECT reality . . . But we believe that numbers CREATE reality." Bradley shows Dilbert a room where an overseer cracks a whip at several other trolls. Bradley says, "This our budget-erasing room . . ." The supervisor yells, "Erase faster!!"
Dilbert: Great... Not only am I being forced to work in the accounting department, but I'm slowly turning into a troll. Wait a minute... This is the budget for the accounting department itself... What happens if I erase it?
Bradley: Boss!!? Boss!!?
Witch: Help me! I'm melting! Aaagh!!
CEO: Our company is obscenely profitable but universally despised. Our plan is to buy a smaller and more popular company, take their name, and suck out their goodwill like a monkey on an orange. Please welcome their founder, Bradley. He's the angriest rich guy you'll ever meet.
The caption says, "Correction." Dogbert sits behind a desk saying, "A recent Dilbert strip used the words 'ant farm' to describe a habitat for ants." Dogbert continues, "Lawyers have informed me that 'ant farm' is a trademark of 'Uncle Milton Industries, Inc.' They demand a public clarification." Dilbert asks, "What SHOULD we call a habitat for worthless and disgusting little creatures?" Dogbert replies, "Law school."
The news says, "The inflation rate in Elbonia climbed to a billion percent." An Elbonian says, "Quickly hand me the potato and I'll tell my cousin in Phlimsk to let go of the other end of my money." Another Elbonian says, "Make it snappy." The first Elbonian says, "Bradley! I have the potato!"
Boss: "I'd like you to meet Bradley, our new manager of executive compensation."
Boss: "Bradley's job is to recommend to our board how much to pay company executives such as me."
"Bradley is totally objective."
Bradley: "Totally."
"That was a world-class observation, so I'll recommend that the company buy you a pony."
"...A STRONG pony to carry the huge bags of cash I recommend for you."
Boss: "Good work, Bradley. I'll recommend to the board that you get a huge raise!"
Dilbert: "Gaaa!! Stop pretending to have reasons!! Just steal the stupid money!!!"
Boss: "See what I have to deal with every day?"
Bradley: "Would an extra month of vacation reduce the sting?"
