Wally tells Dilbert, "I've decided to end my loneliness by getting a mail-order bride from Elbonia." Wally continues, "The photos were grainy, but the advertisement guarantees that she's cute." In Elbonia, a man holds a telephone and tells another man, "Blonde." The man reaches into a box of wigs and selects a blonde wig. A pig wearing a dress stands next to him.
Wally and Dilbert sit at a table eating lunch. Wally says, "My Elbonian mail-order bride will arrive any day now." Dilbert asks, "Why don't you know the exact date?" Wally replies, "Because they're sending her by mail. I wasn't willing to pay for overnight delivery." Dilbert says, "She's one lucky gal." Wally says, "I'll probably keep her in the garage. It has a sink."
Alice says, "Hey, Wally. I hear you're getting an Elbonian mail-order bride!" Alice says, "It's so sad and pathetic, yet so funny! I feel sorry for her already!" Alice laughs. Wally says, "And people ask why I gave up on local girls."
Wally opens an air mail package. He thinks, "My Elbonian mail-order bride has arrived." Wally unties the package and thinks, "I must keep my expectations low to avoid any disappointment." A pig wearing a dress and a wig stands in the box. She says, "Where's the ladies sty? I desperately need to powder my snout."
Wally tells Dilbert, ". . . So my Elbonian mail-order bride turns out to be a pig with a wig." Dilbert says, "What a rip-off." Dilbert says, "You're taking this well. I'd be mad if I paid for a bride and then I had to pay to send her back." They sit down at the table to eat lunch. Dilbert says, "You did send her back . . ." Wally offers Dilbert a sandwich and says, "B.L.T.?"
Dilbert: The Elbonians won't do business with my company unless we bribe them.
Dogbert: offer to give them plans for building a nuclear weapon, Then give them plans to build microwave ovens instead.
Dilbert: would that work?
Dogbert: why do you think our garage is full of persona rugs?
Tina: I hope you don't expect me to write a favorable article about your company just because you bought me drinks.
Dogbert: No, I expect you to publish my press release and act like you wrote it.
Tina: You can work or you can get drunk , but the pay is exactly the same.
