Search Results for "broke"
Share March 12, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk wearing shredded clothing. Dilbert says, "The shredder tried to kill me." Dilbert continues, "First, the coffee machine broke, rendering me inattentive . . ." The Boss asks, "What are you suggesting?" Dilbert replies, "I don't think the shredder acted alone."
Share March 20, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert asks, "How was work?" Dilbert answers, "Not so good . . . I sneezed and blew the toupee off a vice president's head and into the face of the director of marketing, who fell and broke a rib." Dogbert responds, "Gesundheit."
Share July 27, 1994's comic on:
"From now on, twenty percent of your pay will depend on the company meeting its sales targets." "In effect, we'll cut your pay and tell you it's your own darn fault." "Will the sales target be based on a complex formula and involve numbers that can't be accurately measured?" "You broke the code!"
Share November 22, 1996's comic on:
Alice asks Wally, "How do you like your new smoking habit?" Wally replies, "My teeth turned yellow, my breath is putrid, I'm a social outcast, I'm going broke, and my house burned down." Alice asks, "So you're going to quit?" Wally replies, "No, I'm trying to take a long term view of it."
Share July 08, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert, wearing a jogging suit, sits in the grass. He says to Dogbert, "If you're such a chick magnet, let's see you do your stuff." Dogbert says, "Okay. I'll wag. They love that." Dilbert says, "It's working! You broke one out of the herd. She'd coming this way." Dogbert says, "Be careful. I don't know how powerful this is." Dilbert grumbles. A cute girl sits next to Dogbert and says, "I'll bet you work out a lot. I'm a dancer." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh."
Share October 22, 1995's comic on:
The Boss puts a transparency on the overhead projector and says, "This graphic shows our biggest obstacle to success." The diagram shows an arrow through a series of acronyms. Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at the conference table looking confused. Wally asks, "Are you saying our biggest obstacle to success is poor graphics?" Alice replies, "I think he's saying our biggest problem is his overall inability to communicate." Dilbert says, "I think his point goes beyond communication. He's showing us that he doesn't even THINK clearly!" Wally says, "That's it!" Alice says, "High five!!" Wally shouts, "You broke the code!" The Boss says, "You know how I said you should participate more in meetings? I didn't mean it."
Share November 20, 1999's comic on:
The boss, Dilbert, Alice and Wally are in a meeting. The boss is looking at a piece of paper and says to the group, "A hacker broke into our system and found out our corporate strategy." Dilbert asks, "Did he post it on the internet? I'd like to read it." Dilbert continues, "I'm also curious about my objectives for the year. Do you have the guy's e-mail address?"
Share July 27, 2000's comic on:
The I.S. employee says to Noriko, "Well, I upgraded three things and I accidentally broke three things." The I.S. employee continues, "In I.S. terms, I came out ahead." Noriko responds, "Does my computer work?" The I.S. employee replies, "No, but if it did, it would be much faster."
Share July 18, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "I'm broke. The company declared bankruptcy and my 401k savings are worthless." Dogbert replies, "No, I've been impersonating you and diversifying your investments into tobacco, sweat shops, and diamond mines." Dilbert says, "Really?! How am I doing?" Dogbert responds, "It's mixed. You have a 37% return but your soul will burn for eternity."
Share October 04, 2010's comic on:
Coworker says, "Alice broke my arm. You need to do something about this." Catbert says, "Okay. I'll compare Alice's economic value to yours and decide who to fire." Coworker says, "No fair! She's an engineer!" Catbert says, "You got beat up by someone who is also better at math?"