Brutal Truth Comic Strips
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53 Results for Brutal Truth
View 1 - 10 results for brutal truth comic strips. Discover the best "Brutal Truth" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 18,
1999
Tags #nice woman, #venting, #phone number, #sounds nocer, #insulted, #descent story, #Dilbert, #brutal truth
Transcript
Dilbert is at a party. A woman says, "And then I said, "How am I supposed to do all that?" then I glared at her." Dilbert says, "Do you have that woman's phone number? She sounds nicer than you." Dilbert walks and thinks, "I don't see why it's MY fault she can't tell a decent story."
Thursday June 14,
2018
Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power
Monday May 06,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #shocking, #truth, #dilberts, #tie
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the mirror tying his tie and humming. Dilbert walks away thinking, "What's wrong with this necktie?" The tie lies flat on his shirt. The caption says, "Coming: the shocking truth about Dilbert's tie." Dilbert's tie curls up into its usual position and he thinks, "That's better."
Wednesday July 18,
2012
Tags #dissenters, #speak truth to power, #ignorant, #bald and overpaid, #respect, #ceo
Transcript
Dogbert: Do you respect those who speak truth to power? CEO: I don't know what that means. Dogbert: In this case it means you're ignorant, bald and overpaid. Do you respect me, or should I keep going?
Sunday January 20,
1991
Tags #bob, #dinosaur, #Dilbert, #politicians, #elected, #political issues, #electoral college, #truth, #vote, #opposite
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the hassock. Bob the Dinosaur enters the room and says, "Question . . ." Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Bob asks, "Why do politicians lie?" Dogbert replies, "To get elected." Bob asks, "Oh, because people believe them?" Dogbert replies, "No, nobody believes them." Bob asks, "Why do they keep lying if nobody believes them?" Dogbert replies, "People wouldn't vote for them if they told the truth." Bob asks, "Okay, so people like lies and dislike the truth?" Dogbert replies, "No, just the opposite." Bob screams and runs away. Dogbert thinks, "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."
Sunday October 09,
1994
Tags #ask dilbert, #attractive, #bad hair, #engineers can't lie, #hairdo, #insults woman, #make ship date, #technical questions, #truth, #bugs are features
Transcript
"I brought Dilbert, in case you have any technical questions about our product." "Heh-heh...engineers don't know how to lie. The truth will be mine." "Uh-oh." "Ted said your product is bug-free. Is that true Dilbert?" "Well, yes, that's true." "I mean, basically true. Technicaly true. Sort of." "No-o-o!! It's a lie! All the bugs were reclassified as security features just to make the ship date!!" "And we both think you could be attractive if you'd just do SOMETHING with your hair." "Why did I bring you along?" "The evidence suggests that you're stupid."
Wednesday June 09,
1999
Tags #lawsuit, #against company, #truth, #usual engineering, #no one understands, #whistleblower, #sound the same
Transcript
The boss stands behind Dilbert's cubicle. The boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to testify in the lawsuit against our company." The boss says, "Tell the truth, but do it in your usual engineering way so that no one understands you." Dilbert says, "Actually, I've decidedd to be a whistle-blower." The boss says, "Whatever. It'll all sound the same!"
Thursday March 08,
2001
Tags #afraid to eat sandwhiches, #eat sandwhiches, #focus group, #truth telling, #vendor
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Wally, you have to see this vendor." Wally asks, "Why?" Dilbert says, "I think he's telling the truth." Wally exclaims, "No way!" Dilbert and Wally watch the vendor talking to Asok the Intern. The vendor says to Asok, "When the focus groups saw this product they were afraid to eat our sandwiches."
Saturday June 28,
2003
Tags #fooglepoopillion, #embarrased, #tell the truth, #best policy, #honesty, #what you say
Transcript
Dilbert is at home. He says to Dogbert, "My company lost a frooglepoopillion dollars. I'm embarrassed to tell people where I work." Dogbert responds, "Never be afraid to tell the truth about yourself." Dilbert asks, "Because honesty is the best policy?" Dogbert replies, "Because no one pays any attention to what you say."
Monday January 08,
2007
Tags #Advice, #avoid facts, #cubicle, #paid commissions, #sales engineer, #truth, #sales rep
Transcript
The Boss: I'm making you a sales engineer. You'll be paid on commission." "When our sales reps lie, it will be your job to make it look like the truth." "Try to avoid facts."