Bug In Software Comic Strips
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332 Results for Bug In Software
View 1 - 10 results for bug in software comic strips. Discover the best "Bug In Software" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 13,
1995
Tags #write bug free software, #ten dollar bonus, #find and fox, #right behavior, #new minivan, #afternoon
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our goal is to write bug-free software. I'll pay a ten-dollar bonus for every bug you find and fix." Dilbert, Wally and Alice throw their arms up in excitement. Dilbert yells, "Yahoo!" Alice yells, "We're rich!" Wally yells, "Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!!" The Boss says, "I hope this drives the right behavior." Wally says, "I'm gonna write me a new minivan this afternoon!"
Sunday March 23,
1997
Tags #bug in software, #alert, #work many hours, #buy stock in competition, #industry halo effect, #compensation plan
Transcript
Wally sits at his desk thinking, "Whoa . . . I found a huge bug in our new software product." Wally thinks, "I could alert the development team and work many hours of overtime to fix it . . ." Wally thinks, "Or I could surf over to my online brokerage service and buy stock in our competition." Dilbert asks, "Are you going to lunch?" Wally replies, "No, I have to do an analysis." Dilbert walks away thinking, "When Wally works through lunch . . . It's time to buy stock in our competition." Dilbert tells Alice, "Wally's working through lunch!" Alice says, "Quick! To the online brokerage service!" The Boss reads the newspaper and thinks, "Our competition is up ten points on no news. We're up two, maybe from the industry halo effect." The Boss tells Alice and Wally, ". . . Or maybe our new compensation plan is motivating smarter behavior." Wally says, "I think you nailed it."
Sunday April 22,
2001
Tags #wireless fiber multifage, #wrong solution, #software bug, #budget hardware, #business case, #get funding, #it people approved vendor, #better idea
Transcript
The boss leans over Dilbert, points to the computer screen and says, "Why don't you try using a wireless fiber multifage?" Dilbert says, "Well, first of all, no such thing exists." Dilbert continues, "If it did exist, it would surely be the wrong solution for a software bug." Dilbert says, "And there's no extra money in our budget for hardware." Dilbert continues, "It would take six months to writer a business case and get funding." The boss yawns. Dilbert says, "Then our I.T. people would refuse to install it because it's not an approved vendor." The boss says, "Do you have a better idea?" Dilbert says, "Yes. I just fixed it." The boss says, "Do you think you can hold the fort while I go coach someone else?"
Sunday June 17,
2001
Tags #bug in software, #email address book, #send message, #hard data, #fix bug, #money, #finds mothers name, #compares face to animals
Transcript
Dilbert stands before a presentation screen with a model on it. He explains, "We found a bug in our software." Another panel comes up and Dilbert continues, "It searches your e-mail address book for your mother's name." The Boss, Alice and Wally listen as Dilbert says, "Every Sunday it uses your e-mail to send her a message..." Dilbert continues, "...Comparing her face to various parts of animals." The Boss asks, "Do you have any hard facts that proves we should fix the bug?" The Boss continues, "We can't just throw money at every problem." His secretary stands behind him, holding a phone in her hand. Carol, the Boss's secretary says, "It's your mother." The Boss puts the receiver to his ear and his mother screams, "YOU MISERABLE %$#@&!!!" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "See what I mean?" The Boss replies, "No. I get this call every day" as his mother continues to curse.
Friday February 02,
2018
Ted Dies By Software
Tags #self-driving cars, #technology, #bug, #program, #programming, #morals, #ethics
Transcript
Wally: Our self-driving car went off a cliff with Ted in it. Did you tweak the software to make that happen? Dilbert; No, that was a bug. Wally: Was it a known bug? Dilbert: Now we're getting into a gray area.
Wednesday February 07,
2018
Wally Finds Critical Bug
Tags #big business, #bug, #deception, #insider trading, #stock, #trick
Transcript
Wally: I found a critical bug in our software that could make our product worthless in a week. If you give me a huge raise, I won't tell anyone about the problem until you sell all of your company stock. Boss: Deal! Narrator: Two weeks later. Boss: Why haven't I heard about the bug yet? Wally: You didn't ask me if I knew how to fix it.
Friday February 27,
2015
Selling Bad Software Is Like Crime
Tags #big business, #business, #criminals, #user interface, #software, #lower tax rate, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Our tests show that people can't figure out how to use our software. And yet we still sell it. How are we different from criminals? Boss: Our tax rate is lower.
Wednesday August 19,
2015
Software Killed Ted
Tags #invention, #software, #free will, #behavior, #murder, #anger, #glitch, #malfunction, #control, #self control, #psychology, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.
Thursday November 21,
2019
Software Specs
Tags #managers & supervisors, #software, #specifications, #business, #problem, #unclear
Transcript
boss: how long will it take to write the software? dilbert: that depends. what do you want the software to do? boss: i don't know yet. dilbert: do you see the problem here? boss: is it you?
Sunday December 08,
2019
Software Already Done
Tags #managers & supervisors, #prototype, #resources, #software, #program, #miscommunication, #frustration
Transcript
dilbert: what do you think? boss: this will never work. dilbert: this isn't a prototype. this is the finished software, and it's working. boss: i don't see how you can get this done in time. dilbert: it's already done. you are literally using it while we are talking. boss: we don't have the resources to program this. dilbert yelling: it's already done! you. are. using. it. right. now! boss: you'd better settle down, or you'll never get this finished.