Build App Comic Strips
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178 Results for Build App
View 1 - 10 results for build app comic strips. Discover the best "Build App" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 23,
2018
User Specifications Are Not Complete
Tags #user specifications, #apps, #build app, #no hope, #fantasize
Transcript
Dilbert: are these user specifications complete? Ted: No, I plan to add requirements as you build the app until you have no hope of success and you fantasize about strangling me. Dilbert: Do you know what isn't as refreshing as you'd hope? Dogbert: Honesty?
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Monday December 24,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #ad company, #deceptive and abusive, #mobile app, #crying
Transcript
Boss: I hired the Dogbert Ad Company to build some deceptive and abusive ads for our mobile app. Dogbert: I prefer to call our ads "effective." It means the same thing. Our most effective ad looks like a text message from your doctor saying he can't stop crying.
Friday June 12,
2015
Wally's Slap App
Tags #app, #slap, #anger, #violence, #smart watch, #invention
Transcript
Wally: I created an app for our smart watch that makes the user's hand slap people. Boss: Who would want... Wally: Your eyes say I should pivot.
Thursday June 25,
2015
Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack
Tags #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #cyber attack, #government secret, #advancement, #app
Transcript
Boss: I'm loaning you to the government to help stop the worst cyber attack our country has seen. Dilbert: I wrote an app for that. Okay... done. Are we good? G-Man: It's a gray area. I might need to kill you and steal the app.
Friday October 06,
2017
Ceo Uses Dating App
Tags #dating, #app, #technology, #tinder, #match, #cheating, #adultery, #eskimo brothers, #relationships
Transcript
CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? Wally: Your wife/?? That's my girlfriend!
Monday November 13,
2017
Traffic App
Friday May 04,
2018
Both Huge Liars
Thursday May 06,
2021
Charles Barkley App
Tags #business, #technology, #work, #remote, #work from home, #app, #racism, #filter, #video call, #charles barkley, #like, #laptop
Transcript
dilbert: now that we all work remotely, i built an app to eliminate racism. it's a filter that turns every face on a video call into charles barkley. dogbert: i like him. dilbert: see?
Saturday April 16,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #embarrassment, #internet & world wide web, #developed app, #spare time, #awful thing, #lees hinest, #marketing, #business
Transcript
Ted: I developed this app in my spare time. What do you think? Dilbert: I think you made spare time look like an awful thing. If you'd like a less honest answer, I can recommend someone in marketing. Ted: I might try that.
Thursday February 03,
2011
Tags #budget for a poor job, #build software, #business ethics, #cheap or smart, #executives, #poor job, #return on investment, #selling upogardes
Transcript
Dilbert says, "If we build our software with no bugs, we can make a 10% return on our investment." Dilbert says, "But if we do a poor job, we can make a 40% return by selling upgrades and service." Dilbert says, "But don't worry. We only have the budget for a poor job." CEO says, "I can't remember if we're cheap or smart." Boss says, "Phew!"