Build Internet Comic Strips
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330 Results for Build Internet
View 1 - 10 results for build internet comic strips. Discover the best "Build Internet" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 18,
1999
Tags #company resources, #build internet, #low job satisfaction, #outright theft, #sabotage
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and the boss are in a meeting. Wally, still with his ponytail, says, "I used company resources to build my own internet company." Wally says, "Apparently my low job satisfaction bred disloyalty, which drifted into outright theft." Wally says, "Sabotage can't be far away."
Thursday July 21,
2005
Tags #elbonia bid, #nuclear war head, #plans, #internet, #few things modified, #ginat toaster, #enriched bread, #technology
Transcript
"We won the Elbonia bid, but I had to promise we'd give them plans to build a nuclear warhead." "Don't worry. I got the plans off the Internet and I modified a few things." "Now all we need is some highly enriched bread."
Wednesday February 18,
2015
Dilbert Sent To Disable Elbonian Internet
Tags #annoyance, #binary, #code, #coding, #developing countries, #frustration, #internet, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: I have been sent to disable the Elbonian Internet as retaliation for hacking into our corporate network. Elbonian 1: Only our elites use the Internet. The rest of us don't care. Knock yourself out. Elbonian 2: Zero, zero, one, zero, one... Elbonian 3: I wish someone would just disable this thing.
Thursday February 19,
2015
Dilbert Snips Elbonian Internet
Tags #communication, #developing countries, #hackers, #hacking, #internet, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: My company sent me to crash the Elbonian Internet in retaliation for hacking us. Elbonian 1: Can you hear me now? Elbonian 2: It's better without the string!
Friday July 10,
2015
Ceo Buys People On The Internet
Tags #book, #internet, #friends, #struggle, #buying friends, #fake, #technology
Transcript
CEO: I'm writing a book about the struggles of my people. Dilbert: Your people? CEO: The ones I bought on the Internet. Dilbert: What? CEO: They don't look happy. That feels like a book.
Thursday November 19,
2015
Dick From The Internet
Tags #internet, #comment, #jerk, #racism, #misconstrue, #social media, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: An Elbonian start-up invented a new kind of computer mouse. Coworker: Wait until I tell the world that you compared Elbonians to mice, you racists! Hi, I'm Dick, from the Internet. Wally: We're familiar with your work.
Monday March 18,
2019
Boss Does Research On Internet
Tags #internet, #searching, #secret, #unbelievable, #nonsense, #afraid, #truth
Transcript
Boss: I was doing some research on the internet... Dilbert: Uh-oh. Boss: And I learned that there is a secret cia base inside the sun, but no one is talking about it. Dilbert: Maybe you shouldn't do research on the internet. Boss: Why are you afraid of the truth?
Thursday February 03,
2011
Tags #budget for a poor job, #build software, #business ethics, #cheap or smart, #executives, #poor job, #return on investment, #selling upogardes
Transcript
Dilbert says, "If we build our software with no bugs, we can make a 10% return on our investment." Dilbert says, "But if we do a poor job, we can make a 40% return by selling upgrades and service." Dilbert says, "But don't worry. We only have the budget for a poor job." CEO says, "I can't remember if we're cheap or smart." Boss says, "Phew!"
Friday June 03,
2011
Tags #anger, #debates, #internet & world wide web, #outsiurcing, #racist, #restrooms, #debate, #internet, #learn debate, #technology
Transcript
Man: How can you compare outsourcing to our restrooms? Are you a racist? Dilbert: Um... I didn't say anything remotely like that. Did you learn to debate on the Internet? Man: How can you tell?
Wednesday June 29,
2011
Tags #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #new phone, #recommendations, #dropped calls, #poor battery life, #hate the messenger, #build phones
Transcript
Carol: I need a new phone. Which one do you recommend? Dilbert: Do you want to be angry about your dropped calls or angry about your poor battery life? Don't hate the messenger. Carol: People similar to you build phones.