Build Pyramid Comic Strips
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131 Results for Build Pyramid
View 1 - 10 results for build pyramid comic strips. Discover the best "Build Pyramid" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 25,
1998
Tags #theory testing, #Dogbert, #people told what to do, #quit job, #build pyramid, #dolt, #honesty doesn't mix
Transcript
Dilbert sitting on couch while holding "TECH" magazine. Dogbert stands on arm of couch and thinks, "I will now test my theory that people like to be told what to do." Dogbert yells, "QUIT YOUR JOB AND BUILD ME A PYRAMID, YOU HOMELY DOLT!!!" Dilbert responds, "I liked it until the dolt part." Dogbert says, "I've noticed that honesty doesn't mix well with anything."
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Thursday February 03,
2011
Tags #budget for a poor job, #build software, #business ethics, #cheap or smart, #executives, #poor job, #return on investment, #selling upogardes
Transcript
Dilbert says, "If we build our software with no bugs, we can make a 10% return on our investment." Dilbert says, "But if we do a poor job, we can make a 40% return by selling upgrades and service." Dilbert says, "But don't worry. We only have the budget for a poor job." CEO says, "I can't remember if we're cheap or smart." Boss says, "Phew!"
Wednesday June 29,
2011
Tags #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #new phone, #recommendations, #dropped calls, #poor battery life, #hate the messenger, #build phones
Transcript
Carol: I need a new phone. Which one do you recommend? Dilbert: Do you want to be angry about your dropped calls or angry about your poor battery life? Don't hate the messenger. Carol: People similar to you build phones.
Saturday January 28,
2012
Tags #absent mindedness, #machinery, #build robots, #wait a week, #forgets
Transcript
CEO: Stop everything you're doing and build robots. Dilbert: Let's wait a week and see if he forgets. Boss: Does that work? Alice: It works with you.
Tuesday February 21,
2012
Tags #gods, #inventions, #physics, #build an ark, #higgs boson, #trouble, #computer, #works achievement, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Gasp! I've found the Higgs boson! Higgs Boson: Build an ark! Dilbert: Nothing but trouble.
Friday September 07,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #mineral, #water, #pharaohs, #scientifically, #produce, #deep, #relaxation, #bandages, #pyramid
Transcript
Dogbert uses a megaphone to address several people wearing only towels. Dogbert says, "You are now ready for the next step in my 'New Age Mineral Water Spa' therapy." Dogbert continues, "This next therapy was practiced by the pharaohs . . . It has been scientifically proven to produce deep relaxation." Dogbert continues, "Please pick up a roll of bandages and line up in front of the pyramid door . . ."
Wednesday December 18,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #build, #news, #voice, #work, #reading
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. A voice says, "If you build it, they will come." Dilbert thinks, "A voice . . ." The voice repeats, "If you build it, they will come." Dilbert says, "Okay, but build what?" Dogbert hides behind Dilbert's chair. Dogbert says in the voice, "I'll have to get back to you . . . I didn't think this would work."
Monday September 14,
1992
Tags #resources, #cow, #egg, #lobby, #counter, #lates, #vegetarians, #health, #link, #Food, #nutrition, #pyramid, #school, #Kids, #different, #learned
Transcript
A large man behind a desk says to two overweight men, "We must use all of the resources of the 'Cow and Egg' lobby to counter the latest threat from the vegetarians." The man continues, "Somehow they've managed to link food with health . . . They invented a 'nutrition pyramid' chart and got schools to use it . . ." A teacher points to a chart and says, "Kids, this is a little different from the way I learned it . . ." Meat, milk and beer are at the top of the pyramid and are labeled "bad." The next levels on the pyramid are gravel, bugs; beans, tofu; fruits, vegetables; bread, cereal, grains.
Wednesday November 25,
1992
Saturday March 19,
1994
Tags #bad news, #break gradually, #budget worked on, #build up, #effort, #reorganizing dept., #worthless, #you're fired
Transcript
The Boss: Susan, Im reorganizing the department again. The budget you worked on for months its now worthless. Susan: I think when you have bad news you should make an effort to break it gradually, maybe build yup to it. The Boss: Oh, that reminds me: You're fired.