Build Pyramid Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

131 Results for Build Pyramid

View 1 - 10 results for build pyramid comic strips. Discover the best "Build Pyramid" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #theory testing, #Dogbert, #people told what to do, #quit job, #build pyramid, #dolt, #honesty doesn't mix

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sitting on couch while holding "TECH" magazine. Dogbert stands on arm of couch and thinks, "I will now test my theory that people like to be told what to do." Dogbert yells, "QUIT YOUR JOB AND BUILD ME A PYRAMID, YOU HOMELY DOLT!!!" Dilbert responds, "I liked it until the dolt part." Dogbert says, "I've noticed that honesty doesn't mix well with anything."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget for a poor job, #build software, #business ethics, #cheap or smart, #executives, #poor job, #return on investment, #selling upogardes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "If we build our software with no bugs, we can make a 10% return on our investment." Dilbert says, "But if we do a poor job, we can make a 40% return by selling upgrades and service." Dilbert says, "But don't worry. We only have the budget for a poor job." CEO says, "I can't remember if we're cheap or smart." Boss says, "Phew!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #new phone, #recommendations, #dropped calls, #poor battery life, #hate the messenger, #build phones

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I need a new phone. Which one do you recommend? Dilbert: Do you want to be angry about your dropped calls or angry about your poor battery life? Don't hate the messenger. Carol: People similar to you build phones.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #absent mindedness, #machinery, #build robots, #wait a week, #forgets

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Stop everything you're doing and build robots. Dilbert: Let's wait a week and see if he forgets. Boss: Does that work? Alice: It works with you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gods, #inventions, #physics, #build an ark, #higgs boson, #trouble, #computer, #works achievement, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Gasp! I've found the Higgs boson! Higgs Boson: Build an ark! Dilbert: Nothing but trouble.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #mineral, #water, #pharaohs, #scientifically, #produce, #deep, #relaxation, #bandages, #pyramid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert uses a megaphone to address several people wearing only towels. Dogbert says, "You are now ready for the next step in my 'New Age Mineral Water Spa' therapy." Dogbert continues, "This next therapy was practiced by the pharaohs . . . It has been scientifically proven to produce deep relaxation." Dogbert continues, "Please pick up a roll of bandages and line up in front of the pyramid door . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #build, #news, #voice, #work, #reading

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. A voice says, "If you build it, they will come." Dilbert thinks, "A voice . . ." The voice repeats, "If you build it, they will come." Dilbert says, "Okay, but build what?" Dogbert hides behind Dilbert's chair. Dogbert says in the voice, "I'll have to get back to you . . . I didn't think this would work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #resources, #cow, #egg, #lobby, #counter, #lates, #vegetarians, #health, #link, #Food, #nutrition, #pyramid, #school, #Kids, #different, #learned

View Transcript

Transcript

A large man behind a desk says to two overweight men, "We must use all of the resources of the 'Cow and Egg' lobby to counter the latest threat from the vegetarians." The man continues, "Somehow they've managed to link food with health . . . They invented a 'nutrition pyramid' chart and got schools to use it . . ." A teacher points to a chart and says, "Kids, this is a little different from the way I learned it . . ." Meat, milk and beer are at the top of the pyramid and are labeled "bad." The next levels on the pyramid are gravel, bugs; beans, tofu; fruits, vegetables; bread, cereal, grains.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #beavers, #busy, #time, #common, #stereotype, #lazy, #build, #home, #rent

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I always thought you beavers were busy all the time. Beaver: That's a common stereotype. I'm actually quite lazy. Dogbert: How do you build your beaver home? Beaver: I rent.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad news, #break gradually, #budget worked on, #build up, #effort, #reorganizing dept., #worthless, #you're fired

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Susan, Im reorganizing the department again. The budget you worked on for months its now worthless. Susan: I think when you have bad news you should make an effort to break it gradually, maybe build yup to it. The Boss: Oh, that reminds me: You're fired.