Dogbert sits on the hassock reading a book. Dilbert says, "Pssst! Dogbert." Dilbert says, "I brought my date home for some coffee. Please don't make any comments about her . . . Uh . . . Looks." Dilbert brings his date in and says, "Brainella, this is Dogbert." Dogbert sees her large head and asks, "The Queen Bee of light bulbs?"
One Elbonian asks another, "How many left-handed Elbonians does it take to change a light bulb?" The Elbonian says, "None! Left-handed Elbonians don't have any light bulbs!" The other Elbonian asks, "What's a light bulb?" The Elbonian replies, "I guess it would be funnier if we knew that."
Dilbert says, "I multitask during conference calls." Dilbert says, "Is it wrong to value my own productivity over the inane babbling of others?" Therapist thinks, "Buy bread?Pickles?Light bulbs?" Dilbert says, "Hello?"
The Emotionally Manipulative Robot. Robot: It isn't too late to buy an extended warranty for me. I mean, wow! Think about the enormous expense of fixing me if something unexpected happens. If you need me, I'll be on a wobbly ladder, changing light bulbs near the pool
Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years.
Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be.
Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it?
Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far.
Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response.
Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment.
Dilbert: And there it is.
