Bunch Of Termites Comic Strips
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57 Results for Bunch Of Termites
View 1 - 10 results for bunch of termites comic strips. Discover the best "Bunch Of Termites" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday August 14,
2008
Tags #high altitude view, #bunch of termites, #termites hate each other, #eat same log
Transcript
The Boss says, "I don't need to know the details. Just give me the high altitude view." Dilbert says, "From a high altitude we're all a bunch of termites trying to eat the same log." The Boss says, "Maybe drill down a little more." Dilbert says, "The termites hate each other."
Monday September 23,
1996
Tags #problem, #quietly sit, #look mangerly, #idiotic, #leadership, #iron man, #team building, #bunch leadership
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk thinking, "I don't know how to fix any of the problems in this company. Maybe I'll just sit here quietly." The Boss thinks, "No, that wouldn't look managerly . . . I'll have to do something idiotic and hope it looks like leadership." The Boss says to Dilbert, who is sitting at his desk, "We're going to have an 'Iron Man' team-building competition." Dilbert replies, "What a bunch of leadership . . ."
Thursday May 16,
2002
Tags #ceo visit, #tour of cubicles, #bunch of boxes, #pretend to work
Transcript
Headline: The CEO Visit. The Boss says to the CEO, "Would you like a tour of our cubicles?" The CEO responds, "Why would I want to see a bunch of boxes filled with people pretending to work?" The CEO continues, "Unless that's the only thing you planned for the first thirty minutes of my visit."
Wednesday August 14,
2002
Tags #analyzed, #corporate culture, #findings, #bunch unmotivated, #weasels, #knapsack
Transcript
Dogbert reports to The Boss, "I've analyzed your corporate culture and put my findings in this report." The Boss reads the report aloud, "The employees are a bunch of unmotivated weasels. I look good in this hat." Dogbert says, "I would have mentioned my knapsack but it's only a summary."
Wednesday August 27,
2008
Tags #ergonomics, #guts moist, #bunch up, #dried up spleen
Transcript
Wally says, "This week I focused on ergonomics." Wally says, "I kept my guts moist so they wouldn't bunch up." The Boss says, "I don't think that is ergonomics." Wally says, "tell that to my dried-up spleen."
Friday September 05,
2014
Tags #bunch of names, #complaining, #name of new app, #new app, #underscore, #suggestions
Transcript
CEO: I don't like the name of our new app. You need to change it. Dilbert: Perhaps you can underscore your point by suggesting a bunch of names that are already taken. Do you mind if I think of other things while you do that?
Monday February 19,
2018
We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots
Tags #marketing, #damage control, #slogan, #tag line, #image, #business
Transcript
CEO: A feature article in the business press called our leadership a "bunch of morons." Boss: To counter that slanderous story, our new market slogan is "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons!" CEO: Problem solved. Boss: It was deceptively easy.
Tuesday August 02,
2011
Tags #meetings, #standards meeting., #represent interests, #create standards, #mutually exclusive prefrences, #laughs
Transcript
Standards Meeting. Dogbert: Each of you has been chosen to represent the interests of your respective companies. As you know, the best way to create standards is to mash together a bunch of mutually exclusive preferences. I hope I'm not the only one who joined this group just for the laughs.
Monday November 21,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #machinery, #office equipment, #software maintence, #indispensible, #zeberpupin system
Transcript
Wally: I successfully installed a software maintenance patch to the Zeberpupin System. I'd show you, but it's just a bunch of zeroes and ones. The word you're trying to think of is "indispensable."
Thursday April 20,
1989
Tags #Advice, #office workers, #presentation
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm really nervous about this presentation for the Big Boss. Got any tips for me?" Dogbert replies, "Remember to bring a bunch of coins to jangle self-consciously in your pockets." Dogbert continues, ". . . Avoid eye contact and don't pause to explain your acronyms." Dilbert says, "I wish I could tell when you're kidding."