Burn The Ruler Comic Strips
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67 Results for Burn The Ruler
View 1 - 10 results for burn the ruler comic strips. Discover the best "Burn The Ruler" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 11,
2004
Tags conference room, burn the ruler, phone, speaker phone, bathroom, cell phones
Transcript
The boss: whats that I'm hearing? Is some one on the conference call using the restroom. Had t - oops - me too - I am - Sorry - The Boss: Now tap the speaker phone button to "off"and burn the ruler.
Wednesday May 03,
1989
Friday August 25,
1989
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, ruler, argument, flaw
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk holding up a broken ruler. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Dogbert, do you know what happened to my good ruler?" Dogbert answers, "Rulers are made to be broken." Dilbert stares at Dogbert. Dilbert turns back to the desk and says, "I just KNOW there is some flaw in that argument . . ."
Saturday June 15,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, supreme, ruler, earth, growing, mustache, grasp, figuratively
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dogbert says, "I've been thinking about my goal of becoming the supreme ruler of earth . . ." Dilbert says, "I know EXACTLY how you feel. I once had a goal of growing a mustache . . . But it was beyond my grasp." Dilbert continues, "I mean, figuratively beyond my grasp. I could still reach my upper lip, you understand . . . But there was no reason to try." Dogbert says, "Right, but back to me . . ."
Saturday July 06,
1991
Tags Dogbert, television, supreme, ruler, earth, idiots, drive, happiness, expectations, chips, king
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a pillow watching tv. He thinks, "The more I watch television, the more I wonder why I'm not already supreme ruler of earth." Dogbert walks away thinking, "Those people are idiots. They should all drive over here and proclaim me their king." Dogbert returns to the pillow with a bag of potato chips and thinks, "The secret to happiness is high expectations and your own bag of chips."
Monday September 23,
1991
Tags Dogbert, rabert, ruler, earth, ignorant, masses, zombie, mode, stuck
Transcript
Dogbert stands on the edge of a cliff and yells, "I am Dogbert, the supreme ruler of earth!!" Dogbert yells, "Worship me, you ignorant masses!!" Dogbert says to Ratbert, "That was practice." Ratbert replies, "Darn, now my eyes are stuck in zombie mode . . ."
Tuesday September 24,
1991
Tags Dogbert, ratbert, visualization, achieve, hunk, cheese, visualizing, world, ruler
Transcript
Dogbert and Ratbert stand on the edge of a cliff. Dogbert says, "I come up here and use visualization to achieve my goals." Dogbert continues, "You can get anything you want by visualizing it." Ratbert replies, "Wow! I've got to try that!" Dogbert says, "I'm the ruler of the world." Ratbert says, "You're a big hunk of cheese."
Wednesday October 09,
1991
Tags Dilbert, easier, elbonia, Dogbert, convince, despotic, ruler, airport, skeet-shooting, range
Transcript
Dilbert sits in a giant slingshot holding his suitcase. Dilbert says, "I wish there were an easier way to fly in Elbonia." Dilbert flies through the air over Elbonia. Dilbert thinks, "I've got to find Dogbert and convince him to stop being the despotic ruler of Elbonia." Dogbert, who is wearing a miter, sits on the back of an Elbonian and points a rifle toward the sky. The Elbonian says, "But, sire, this is the airport, not the skeet-shooting range." Dogbert yells, "Pull!"
Friday December 06,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, electric, razor, burn, face, joke, toaster, shave, problem
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Do you know the difference between an electric razor and a toaster?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "No??? Geez, it must take you a long time to shave. Do you burn your face a lot?" Dilbert says, "I thought you were telling a joke." Dogbert asks, "How long have you had this problem?"
Thursday May 07,
1992
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, progress, supreme, ruler, fault, blame, pillow, computer
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a pillow thinking, "I've made little progress toward my goal of being supreme ruler of earth." Dogbert thinks, "Obviously it's not my fault. Somebody else must be to blame." Dogbert stares at Dilbert who is sitting at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "I hate it when he just stares."