Burn Furniture Comic Strips
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57 Results for Burn Furniture
View 1 - 10 results for burn furniture comic strips. Discover the best "Burn Furniture" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 15,
2005
Tags #hotel check out, #movies rented, #porn, #burn furniture
Transcript
I hope you enjoyed your stay. I'll just check to see what movies you rented. GAA!!! GAAA!!!! GAA!!!! GAAA!!! GAAA!!!! and i recommend that we burn the furniture.
Wednesday May 24,
1989
Tags #furniture, #office workers, #phone call
Transcript
Dogbert says into the telephone, "I'm sorry to bother you at work, Dilbert, but apparently the furniture has become possessed by mischievous spirits." The chair and the hassock have faces and clawed feet. Dogbert says to the chair and hassock, "He wants to know who you guys are." The chair responds, "Upholsterygeist."
Tuesday July 17,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #timid, #person, #furniture, #proud, #shut in, #Dogbert, #forever
Transcript
Dilbert thinks, "I'm feeling timid today . . . I felt timid yesterday too . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Holy cheese! I may be a timid person." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided to build a blanket fort with the living room furniture and live in it forever." Dogbert replies, "I'm so proud of you."
Wednesday November 20,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #alice, #laid off, #bruce, #calculated, #friends, #pay cuts, #company, #gosh, #office, #furniture
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand behind a man's desk. Wally says, "We're sorry to hear you're getting laid off, Bruce." Wally continues, "We calculated that if ten of your friends here took ten percent pay cuts then the company can keep you." Bruce says excitedly, "Gosh! You'd do that for me?" Wally replies, "No. We're here to look at your office furniture."
Friday December 06,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #electric, #razor, #burn, #face, #joke, #toaster, #shave, #problem
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Do you know the difference between an electric razor and a toaster?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "No??? Geez, it must take you a long time to shave. Do you burn your face a lot?" Dilbert says, "I thought you were telling a joke." Dogbert asks, "How long have you had this problem?"
Tuesday July 07,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #financial, #adviser, #churn, #burn, #mutual, #funds, #worthless, #equity, #brokerage, #risky
Transcript
Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says, "I recommend our 'Churn 'N' Burn' family of mutual funds." The man continues, "We'll turn your worthless equity into valuable brokerage fees in just three days!" Dilbert asks, "Is it risky?" The advisor replies, "Are you kidding?! We have actual brochures!"
Tuesday November 28,
1995
Tags #be my couch, #dysfunctional internet connections, #huge ball yarn, #human resources, #treatment prgrams, #used as furniture, #yarn therpay, #ropes, #business
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from Catbert's desk. Dilbert asks, "Does Human Resources offer any treatment programs for people with dysfunctional internet connections?" Catbert shows Dilbert a pamphlet and says, "I recommend the 'yarn therapy.' You'll be wrapped in a huge ball of yarn and used as furniture in my office." Dilbert reads the brochure and asks, "Is this like the famous 'Ropes' course where I learn to solve problems as part of a team?" Catbert replies, "Exactly, except here you learn to be my couch."
Sunday July 22,
1990
Tags #hairballs, #dust, #bunny, #cultural, #home, #hide, #clumps, #under, #furniture, #nip, #bud
Transcript
A large rabbit taps Dogbert on the back. Dogbert turns around and shouts, "Holy hairballs! What are you?!!" The bunny replies, "I am the 'Dust Bunny,' an emerging cultural icon." The bunny explains, "Once a year I come to every home and hide clumps of dust under furniture and major appliances." The dust bunny says, "You must honor me by decorating closet doors and singing dust hymns." Dogbert asks, "What about gifts? Do I get any gifts out of this?" The dust bunny replies, "No. The dust bunny symbolizes only love, goodwill and very poor housekeeping." Dogbert sucks up the dust bunny with a vacuum cleaner. He looks at the reader and says, "I know, it seems harsh, but you have to nip these things in the bud." The dust bunny cries from inside the vacuum, "Okay, gifts!"
Tuesday May 14,
1996
Tags #after merger, #reduce staff, #redundant, #employees, #evaluated, #buying company, #bald guy, #steal office furniture, #business
Transcript
Alice, Wally, Dilbert and a man from the buying company sit at a conference table. The man says, "After the merger, we'll reduce staff in areas that are redundant." Wally says, "I hope the employees of this company will be evaluated fairly compared to those in the buying company." The man says, "We already have a bald guy." Dilbert asks, "Does your steal office furniture, too?"
Wednesday December 04,
1996
Tags #new corporate trainer, #teach classes, #stress reduction, #teamwork, #burn in hell, #filthy weasel, #hired you, #subject matter expert
Transcript
Someone behind a desk tells Ratbert, "I'm looking for a new corporate trainer to help me teach classes in stress reduction, conflict resolution, and teamwork." Ratbert yells, "I'll burn in hell before I'll do your work plus my own, you filthy weasel!!!" Dilbert asks, "And they hired you?" Ratbert replies, "A good trainer doesn't have to be a subject matter expert."