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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1997's comic on:


Tags #accident, #ask questions, #bury survivors, #dont embarrass boss, #highly visible, #meetings, #put them in trunk, #promoted

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "If you want to be promoted, you have to be highly visible." Dogbert says, "Ask questions at meetings. But make them easy so you don't embarrass your boss." Dilbert is in a meeting with Wally and the Boss. Dilbert says, "...So if there's an accident in a company car, where should we bury the survivors?" The Boss says, "I usually put them in the trunk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #competitors network, #elbonians, #bribe blogger, #limited capacity, #self control, #bury in woods

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Boss: Can you hack into our competitor's network and make it look as if the Elbonians did it? Dilbert: No. Boss: Can you bribe a blogger to write good things about our company? Dilbert: No. Boss: Now that I've worn down your limited capacity for self-control, I need you to bury something in the woods, no questions asked. Dilbert: Fine.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2012's comic on:


Tags #bury, #top secret, #proprietary, #documents, #woods, #shovel, #tied up, #mumble

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Boss: I need you to bury some top secret proprietary documents in the woods for me. Man: Mmm mmph. Boss: Come back in ten minutes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #captain, #bob, #eat, #survivors, #cannibal, #mountain, #village, #message, #snowball, #snow

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Dogbert, Dilbert, a man in a pilot's uniform and another man stand on a snow-covered mountain where their airplane crashed. Dogbert says, "Captain Bob, I think you're planning to eat the other survivors." Captain Bob replies, "Ha ha! Too bad your only hope is to send a message to the village at the base of this mountain." Dogbert throws a snowball at the captain, knocking him off his feet. Dogbert says, "When you roll into town, tell them Dogbert sent you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #strategic, #diversification, #fund, #lawyers, #money, #bags, #Dogs, #bury

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Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says as Dilbert reads a brochure, "That's our new 'Strategic Diversification Fund.'" The man continues, "Our lawyers put your money in little bags, then we have trained dogs bury them around town." Dilbert asks, "Do they bury the bags or the lawyers?" The advisor replies, "We've tried it both ways."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1996's comic on:


Tags #layoff list, #Wally, #claimed chair, #few minutes ago, #hard on survivors

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Ted says to Wally, "I hear you're on the layoff list, Wally. Has anyone claimed your chair yet?" A man says, "I claimed it a few minutes ago." Ted yells, "Liar!" As the two men fight, Wally says, "I guess it's true what they say about layoffs being hard on the survivors."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2000's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #financial sunsidary, #million victims, #first year, #cross selling, #bayonet the survivors

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The boss is sitting in a meeting between Wally and Dogbert and he says: "Mister Dogbert will be CEO of our financial subsidiary." Dogbert says: "My goal is one million victims in the first year." Dogbert says: "Then I'll do some cross-selling, which I prefer to call "bayonetting the survivors."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #bury, #bury them, #dig, #eight patent ideas, #hiding, #literally, #not growing, #shivel, #intern, #free time, #appearences

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The Boss tells Asok the Intern while examining some documents: "Wow! You've developed eight patentable ideas, Asok." The Boss continues: "We'll have to bury them or else it will look like we have too much free time." Digging in a field with a shovel, Asok the Intern says: "Then I said, 'Literally?' And then he said..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #human reasources, #resume, #sense of desparation, #janitor, #clean toiltes, #bury janitor

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I've seen your resume and I sense desperation." Catbert says, "Our janitor recently passed away, so I have a job for you." A man says, "You want me to clean toilets?" Catbert says, "No, I want you to bury the janitor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #petimony, #fuzzy, #cat, #pet, #disgust, #rubbed, #leg, #pine-scented, #sand

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Dilbert says, "The defense calls Fuzzy the Cat." Fuzzy sits in the witness stand. Dilbert asks Fuzzy, "Isn't it true that I did not in fact PET you, but only pushed you away in mild disgust when you rubbed my leg?" Fuzzy replies, "I have this sudden urge to bury you in pine-scented sand."