Business School Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Business School
View 1 - 10 results for business school comic strips. Discover the best "Business School" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 27,
2008
Tags #project not sexy, #transferring fnding, #arouses boss, #business school, #not covered
Transcript
The Boss says, "Your project is not sexy." The Boss says, "I'm transferring all of your funding to a project that totally arouses me." The Boss says, "That's something they don't cover in business school."
Friday October 24,
2014
Tags #business school, #context, #lists, #ranking, #rankings, #list, #votes, #schools
Transcript
Boss: The new business school rankings are out. Dilbert: Is that the list that is based on the votes of people who have no direct knowledge of those schools? Boss: You ruin everything. Dilbert: Context is not your friend.
Tuesday May 19,
2009
Tags #new employee, #bragging, #education, #ridiculous, #doubting, #annoyed
Transcript
Man says, "I have an MBA from a top business school." Man says, "I'm a management expert because I read case studies about businesses that were in completely different situations." Man says, "Wait a minute. Why does that suddenly seem ridiculous?" Dilbert says, "Will this take much longer?"
Tuesday February 03,
2015
The Evil Robot Business
Tags #business ethics, #ceo, #evil, #executives, #robot, #sell robots, #manipulate owners, #titanium bolts
Transcript
Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.
Friday March 04,
2016
Business Plan History
Tags #business plan, #futile, #futility, #goal, #guest artist, #logic, #plan, #john glynn
Transcript
Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.
Tuesday July 31,
2018
Wife Starts A Business
Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships
Transcript
Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.
Monday December 10,
2018
Carol Raises Money For School
Tags #family & parenting, #guilt, #office, #office workers, #sales, #sarcasm, #school
Transcript
Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise funds for my kid's school. Dilbert: I'm childless, so I already subsidize your kid's education. Carol: I was hoping it would feel too awkward for you to say no. Dilbert: By my calculations, you owe me money.
Tuesday December 11,
2018
Selling Chocolate For School
Tags #family & parenting, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sales, #school, #capitalism
Transcript
Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise money for my kid's school. Boss: That sounds like communism. I'm out. Carol: I'll give you a fake receipt so you can expense it. Boss: Now it sounds like capitalism. I'm in.
Monday April 22,
2019
Think Of You As Family
Tags #office, #office workers, #business, #fired, #boarding school
Transcript
team meeting in conference room. the boss: i think of all of you as family. dilbert: you fired ted yesterday. the boss: i also sent my son to boarding school. what's your point?
Monday October 28,
2019
Business Agility Influencer
Tags #office workers, #business, #agility, #solution, #meaningless, #useless
Transcript
ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!