Business Spin Offs Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Business Spin Offs
View 1 - 10 results for business spin offs comic strips. Discover the best "Business Spin Offs" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 13,
1996
Tags #abandon startegy, #making good products, #ours strategy mergers, #business spin offs, #random reorgozations, #accelerate, #stock price, #fruitless partnerships
Transcript
The Boss reads a document and tells Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "The company announced that we will 'abandon our strategy of making good products . . .'" The Boss continues, "From now on we'll 'pursue a desperate strategy of mergers, business spin-offs, fruitless partnerships and random reorganizations.'" The Boss reads, "And we'll accelerate our program of paying the good employees to leave." Dilbert asks Wally, "Stock price?" Wally looks at his monitor and replies, "Up three points."
Wednesday July 28,
2004
Tags #founder of compnay, #tug up, #copper wire, #replaced tombstone, #huge magnet, #business practivces, #spin in grave, #generate electricity
Transcript
"We dug up the founder of our company and wrapped him in copper wire." "Then we replace his tombstone with a huge magnet." "With any luck, our business practices will make him spin in his grave and generate electricity."
Tuesday February 03,
2015
The Evil Robot Business
Tags #business ethics, #ceo, #evil, #executives, #robot, #sell robots, #manipulate owners, #titanium bolts
Transcript
Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.
Friday March 04,
2016
Business Plan History
Tags #business plan, #futile, #futility, #goal, #guest artist, #logic, #plan, #john glynn
Transcript
Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.
Tuesday July 31,
2018
Wife Starts A Business
Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships
Transcript
Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.
Monday October 28,
2019
Business Agility Influencer
Tags #office workers, #business, #agility, #solution, #meaningless, #useless
Transcript
ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!
Wednesday September 23,
2020
Business Lying
Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #lying, #context, #important, #acceptable, #sick, #sarcasm, #face mask
Transcript
tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.
Wednesday May 04,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #saving & investment, #intentional billing errors, #honest mistakes, #maintain bonuses, #pipelien, #new errors, #pension algorythm, #money
Transcript
Carol: Once again, our only profitable line of business is "intentional billing errors." It started as a series of honest mistakes. Now it's the only way we can maintain our bonuses. Boss: Do we have anything better in the pipeline? Carol: R&D is testing some new errors for our pension algorithm.
Friday October 07,
2011
Tags #inventions, #thinking, #creative, #teacher, #business card, #ideationista, #education
Transcript
Boss: I hired Ken to teach us how to be more creative. According to his business card, his title is "ideationista." Ken: That was some of my best work.
Tuesday December 13,
2011
Tags #big business, #secondhand sales, #tablet computer, #business, #design logo, #pay another company, #other companies, #watch, #engineers, #degrade, #low morale
Transcript
Boss: We're going into the tablet computer business. And by that I mean other companies will make the product and we'll design the logo. And by that I mean we'll pay another company to design the logo for us. Alice: Can we watch?