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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1996's comic on:

Tags #anti rust, #bald, #big field, #butterfly turned opera singer, #car dealer, #data compression, #dream analysts, #extended warranty, #new algorythm, #running against wind, #sealant, #serious money

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Someone reaches for a door labeled "Dogbert's Dream Analysis." Dogbert and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "I was in a big field full of tofu and carburetors." Dogbert says, "It means you're a gullible moron. That's $25 please." A woman tells Dogbert, "Then I was running, running, running against the wind." Dogbert replies, "That means you're ugly." Wally tells Dogbert, "Then the butterfly turned into an opera singer." Dogbert says, "That means you're bald." Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Suddenly I saw a new algorythm for data compression." Dogbert replies, "It means you're boring." The Boss tells Dogbert, "Then I told the car dealer I wanted the anti-rust sealant, the extended warranty and the lease option." The Boss asks, "What do you think it means?" Dogbert replies, "It means I'm going to make some serious money today."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2014's comic on:

Tags #complaints, #skunk opera, #analogies, #understand analogies, #employees complain, #office, #cubicle, #human relations

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Boss: Sheesh! It feels as if every employee is complaining about one thing or another today. Carol: Maybe it's because your leadership has turned this place into a skunk opera. Luckily, you don't understand analogies. Boss: That one is about singing.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2011's comic on:

Tags #internet & world wide web, #monsters, #turned feral, #engineers, #social life, #social skills, #few weeks, #wolfman, #howls at inetrnet

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Alice: Steer clear of Darryl. He turned feral. Asok: Feral? Dilbert: That's what happens when engineers don't get invited to meetings. Alice: Darryl's only social life was meetings. Dilbert: He didn't get to use his social skills for a few weeks, and apparently he lost them. Asok: Is it like he turned into a wolfman? Dilbert: Yes, except he's better at math. And he howls at the Internet, not the moon. Asok: Can we watch? Man: How-ooo can you blog that?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #opera, #weasels, #heavy metal rock

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "You know what kind of music I hate?" Dogbert continues, "When they wear those outrageous outfits, scream like tortured weasels and nobody understands the words." Dilbert asks, "Heavy metal rock?" Dogbert replies, "Opera."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #date, #frog, #witch, #turned, #me, #into, #hopping, #mad, #love, #dating

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Dogbert asks Dilbert, "You're back early. How was your date?" Dilbert, who has been turned into a frog, replies, "Not so good . . . She's a witch . . . Turned me into a frog." Dilbert says, "Oooh! When I think about it I just get so . . . So . . ." Dogbert asks, "Hopping mad?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #protest, #obscene, #opera, #foreign, #language, #sheltered, #life

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk. Dogbert says, "I'm writing to protest the obscene lyrics in opera." Dilbert says, "It's not obscene . . . It's a foreign language." Dogbert stops writing and says, "Oh . . . I thought I was just living a very sheltered life."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1990's comic on:

Tags #senator, #axxe, #embracing, #elected, #opera, #boycott, #chair, #Dogbert

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Senator Newt Axxes' Office. Senator Axxe: Mister Dogbert makes a strong argument for banning opera. Man: The polls show that almost nobody cares about this issue... There's virtually no political risk in embracing it! Senator Axxe: Until they scrape your festering corpse out of that chair!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #campaign, #censor, #opera, #forms, #art

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Dilbert asks Dogbert, ". . . What if you succeed in your campaign to censor opera?" Dilbert continues, "Before you know it, somebody will try to censor other forms of art." The text balloons above Dilbert's and Dogbert's heads are blank.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1995's comic on:

Tags #ratbert, #temp worker, #really testing self worth, #compensate list of talents, #walks past, #ignore i eat rubber, #i carry disease, #i enjoy opera

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Ratbert is in his box. He thinks, "This is really testing my sense of self-worth." Ratbert continues thinking, "I will compensate by shouting a list of my talents to anybody who walks past." Dilbert is standing next to Wally. Dilbert says, "Ignore him. He's trying to trick us into making eye contact." Out of view, Ratbert shouts, "I eat rubber! I carry disease! I enjoy opera!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #butterfly, #bug, #flying, #much, #now, #kill, #flatten, #becomes, #beautiful, #work, #art, #guts, #wings, #evenly, #spaced, #ants, #pants, #mother, #nature, #standing, #resist

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit in the bushes. Dilbert points and says, "Look! A beautiful Regency butterfly!" Dogbert says, "Beautiful?? It's a flying BUG." Dilbert says, "It may not seem like much now . . ." Dilbert continues, "But after we kill it, dip it in chemicals, and flatten it between glass, it becomes a beautiful work of art!" Dogbert asks, "Do we throw away the bug guts and just keep the wings?" Dilbert replies, "No. The guts keep the wings evenly spaced." Dilbert screams and yells, "Ants in my pants!!" He jumps out of the bushes. As Dilbert runs away, a woman comes out of the bushes. Dogbert says, "Mother Nature!" Mother Nature says, "He was standing right on an anthill. I couldn't resist."