Search Results for "buy company's prodcut"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 339

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2011's comic on:

Tags #retail business, #service business, #buy company's prodcut, #pulling teeth, #commissions to salary, #free from tyranny, #customer service, #less than ideal, #no paperwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I want to buy your company's product but it's like pulling teeth with you. Man: Ha ha! I switched from commissions to a guaranteed salary. I'm free from the tyranny of customer service! Dilbert: This is less than ideal. Man: No paperwork for me! Woot! Woot!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 1998's comic on:

Tags #albanian factory tour, #sweat shop, #companys prodcut, #attach clamps, #cubicles, #damaged morale

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian Factory Tour: Alice and an Elbonian stand in the mud in front of a hut. The Elbonian says, "This is the sweat shop where we make your company's product." Alice takes notes. The Elbonians work with large clamps on their heads. The foreman says, "We attache huge clamps to each employee's head." Alice says, "Why?" The foreman says, "We tried cubicles, but it damaged morale."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1991's comic on:

Tags #curiosity, #information, #secret, #Dilbert, #meeting, #brief, #companys, #policy, #locked, #night, #great, #value, #competitors, #companies, #pay, #annual, #salary, #best, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the front of a conference room. He says, "I've been asked to brief everybody on the company's policy for protecting secret information." Dilbert continues, "All secret information must be locked up at night." Dilbert continues, "Our secrets could be of great value to our competitors." Dilbert continues, "In fact, some companies try to buy the secrets of their competitors." A woman asks, "Just out of curiosity, how much would our competitors pay for our secrets?" Dilbert replies, "Oh, I dunno . . . Maybe several times your annual salary." The people at the table smirk at each other. Dilbert thinks, "I don't think this was some of my best work."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2004's comic on:

Tags #customers, #buy prodcut, #credibilty, #buying services, #dont talk

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogberts Consults." Dogbert: "Never listen to your customers." "They were dumb enough to buy your product, so they have no credibility." "That reminds me: thanks for buying my services. Don't talk. Shhh." The boss: "Ooh."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #frustration, #buy in, #cleaner, #windows don't open

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get buy-in for my project because our CEO hasn't approved it. And I can't get our CEO to approve it until I have buy-in from all of the divisions. On the plus side, now I understand why the windows in our building don't open. Boss: It's cleaner.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #computers & peripherals, #software, #install and test, #database software, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Dogbert: I recommend that you buy the Dogbert database software. Boss: Did I just pay a consultant to recommend his own company's software? Dogbert: I'm totally objective. Boss: Who would install and test it? Dogbert: Maybe a consultant who knows the product?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2011's comic on:

Tags #angry rich guy, #buy small companies, #mergers & acquisitions, #obscenely profitable, #prosperity, #suck good will, #universally despised

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our company is obscenely profitable but universally despised. Our plan is to buy a smaller and more popular company, take their name, and suck out their goodwill like a monkey on an orange. Please welcome their founder, Bradley. He's the angriest rich guy you'll ever meet.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2012's comic on:

Tags #low margin lines, #high risk, #start up, #lumbering inefficiencies, #buy in

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're abandoning our low-margin lines of business and going into a whole new field. Dilbert: So... we'll be like a high-risk start-up company burdened with lumbering inefficiencies and a high cost structure? Boss: Was anything you said the same as buy-in?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2012's comic on:

Tags #new product development, #stock buy back, #stock market, #dream, #using capitol, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm canceling all of our new product development and using the capital for a stock buy-back. Dilbert: This is a dream come true because I always wanted to be like you. CEO: In what way are you... Dilbert: Yay! I'm worthless!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2012's comic on:

Tags #computer software, #competitor, #software, #entice people, #buy products, #freemium startegy, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our competitor just bought ten million copies of our software. Boss: Huh? Dilbert: They plan to give it away for free to entice people to buy their own product that has more features. We'll be part of their freemium strategy. Boss: That's just showing off.