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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2006's comic on:

Tags #yellow sticky note road, #wizard of landfill, #coffee cup, #caffeine

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"Will the yellow sticky-note road lead me home?" "Not directly." "We're off to see the Wonderful Wizard of Landfill. He'll know how to get you home." "Holy #!%$, I hope this isn't him." "Coffee...cup...need...caffeine..." Continued

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2014's comic on:

Tags #efficiency experts, #employee tracking, #wandering aorund, #meetings, #restroom trips, #employee monitoring, #wrist monitor, #low levels of caffeine, #typos up, #beat authority figure, #tablet computer, #danger signals, #workloads

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Boss: Okay, let's see how employee 3452378 is doing. According to our employee tracking system, you have wandered around the office 17% more than the average employee. Dilbert: Maybe I have more meetings than most people. Boss: No, most of the difference is in restroom trips and detours past an attractive woman's desk. Your wrist monitor shows unacceptably low levels of caffeine for your workload. That's probably why your typos are up 9% and you have looked away from your workstation nine more times than last month. Now your wrist monitor indicated a desire to bean an authority figure to death with his own tablet computer. Phew! Your brain's wuss subroutine just kicked in. The danger has passed.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1994's comic on:

Tags #coffeee iv, #exercise, #given up sleep, #nutrition, #intravenous, #caffeine, #main line java, #health

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Dilbert: Hows the job going, Anne? Anne: Musch better, now that Ive given up sleep, exercise and nutrition in favor of coffee. Dilbert: Any adverse effects? Anne: This is the aorta of the last person who asked me that.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2006's comic on:

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"I wanted to discuss the..." "Whoa! Stop." "Large doses of caffeine allow me to see the future. I already know what both of us will say." "You're a freak." "And then I say, 'And then I say...'"

Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey

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Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2015's comic on:

Tags #assistant, #caffeine, #coffee, #croney, #lackey, #Promotion, #vice president, #upper body strength

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Asok: Now that you are a vice president, may I apply to be your lackey? Wally: If I'm being honest, Asok, I need someone with more upper body strength to carry my coffee all day. Asok: Then I said, "A Vice President's coffee can't be that heavy."

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Wally's Coffee Ideas

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Wally's Coffee Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2017's comic on:

Tags #coffee, #obsession, #caffeine, #decaf, #competition, #thinking, #intelligence

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Wally: I recommend buying the company that supplies coffee to our biggest competitor. We'll replace their regular coffee with decaf enjoy a solid 20-point I.Q. advantage over them. Boss: Do all of your ideas involve coffee. Wally: Only the good ones.

Wally Takes Decaf Vacations

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Wally Takes Decaf Vacations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2017's comic on:

Tags #vacation, #caffeine, #coffee

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Alice: I've never seen you take a vacation. Wally: I take mental vacations. All I do is switch to decaf. After a few hours, I can't remember what country I'm in. Alice: Sounds dumb. Is the any downside? Wally: The locals could be friendlier.