Call Help Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

914 Results for Call Help

View 1 - 10 results for call help comic strips. Discover the best "Call Help" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #top executives, #locked, #conference room, #starved to death, #call help, #phone, #trouble, #deciosns, #get outside line

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice peaks into Dilbert's cube while he is sitting at his computer terrminal and says, "I just heard that all our top executives got locked in a conference room and starved to death." Dilbert replies, "Why didn't they use the phone to call for help?" Caption: One week ago... Three executives sitting at a table staring at a phone. One, while holding a piece of paper, says, "It's agreed: We dial 83 to get an outside line." Another executive says, "Uh-oh. This one doesn't do decimals."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help desk, #reengineered, #out of existence, #never call again, #pie chart, #crush computer, #ass flour, #bake one hour, #free novel, #manual, #repeat process

View Transcript

Transcript

A bald man says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the 'Help Desk'?" Dogbert wears a headset and sits at a computer. He replies, "No, that group got reengineered out of existence." Dogbert continues, "I'm the new 'No Help Whatsoever Desk.' My job is to make sure you never call again." The man asks, "Can you tell me how to make a pie chart?" Dogbert replies, "Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour." Dogbert continues, "While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'" Dogbert continues, "Repeat the process until you get the desired result." The man sits next to an oven reading an instruction manual. He thinks, "This lost a LOT in the translation."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #call center, #inhumane conditions, #employees, #guilty, #acting under orders, #demonize, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ive been ordered to build a company call center with inhumane working conditions for the employees. ut I don't feel guilty because Im only acting under orders and maybe they did something to deserve it. I might need your help to demonize them. Dogbert: Im all over it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #payroll problem, #wrong person, #speak with supervisor, #forward call

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, on the phone, says, "I'm trying to find someone who can help me with a payroll problem." A worker on the phone says, "You're close. I'm the guy who forwards your call to the wrong person." Dilbert says, "I'd like to speak with your supervisor." The voice on the other end of the line says, "I'll forward your call."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #use my raise, #move from home, #handicapped stall, #storage facility, #house warming, #gift, #flashlight, #hesitate, #call alice

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, and Asok are eating lunch. Asok says, "I plan to use my raise to move my home in the handicapped stall to a storage facility." Asok continues, "If you are trying to think of a housewarming gift, I wouldn't say no to a flashlight." Wally says, "If you need help moving, don't hesitate to call Alice." Asok replies, "You are too kind."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #call center, #moved call centers, #anyone will notice, #disguised location

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "We've moved our call centers to Elbonia but we don't think anyone will notice." Elbonia: "Hello, how may I help you? My name is Kruphnehdahpheweundikaniswalyniaphorganopop." "I mean...Carl."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mother, #son, #help, #rebate, #laptop, #tv, #ringtone, #scheme, #plan, #yell, #phone call, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Mom says, "Dilbert, could you help me fill out this rebate form the next time you visit?" Dilbert says, "Sure, mom." Mom says, "Also, my laptop keeps crashing." Dilbert says, "I'll take a look at it." Mom says, "My TV is acting up again too." Mom says, "And maybe you could show me how to change my ringtone." Dilbert says, "Do you really need all of that help?" Dilbert says, "Or is this an elaborate scheme to inoculate against me ever wanting to move back home?" Mom says, "We have a bad connection! What? What? What?" Mom thinks, "That should buy me another six months."

Dilbert Chooses Life

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Chooses Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #off the grid, #emergency, #hiding, #help, #cell phone, #service, #connection, #nature, #allergy, #reaction, #decision, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My hiding strategy of going off the grid was working until I ate that berry. If I call for help, the government will find me. If I don't I will die. I choose life! Phone: No service.

Boss Offers To Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Offers To Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #help, #manager, #incompetent, #obliviousness, #extension

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get everything done by the deadline. Boss: I'll stop by later to help. Dilbert: That's funny. Boss: What's funny? Dilbert: Using incompetence as a substitute for time.

God Helps Those Who Help Themselves

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
God Helps Those Who Help Themselves - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #assistance, #sayings, #adage, #divine intervention, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Can you get me that data by Friday? Wally: They say "God helps those who help themselves." Man: So... you won't help? Wally: I'm waiting for you to go first. Man: And then you'll help? Wally: No, the order is you, then God, then me.