Called In Sick Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

305 Results for Called In Sick

View 1 - 10 results for called in sick comic strips. Discover the best "Called In Sick" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 1997's comic on:

Tags #let me telecommute, #called in sick, #total days off, #working for nothing, #ahead in principle, #stupidity is principle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, who is wearing a bathrobe, tells Dogbert, "I convinced my boss to let me telecommute." Dogbert asks, "How?" Dilbert replies, "Well, technically, I called in sick, which comes out of my time bank for total days off." Dilbert continues, "So, technically, I'm working for nothing, but I'm ahead in principle." Dogbert says, "WAY ahead, now that stupidity is a principle."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2008's comic on:

Tags #Advice, #bad idea, #saving & investment, #financial advisor, #diseased livestock, #sick cow, #aggregate, #math, #savvy, #education, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the financial adviser Dogbert: You should invest all of your money is diseased livestock. It would be unwise to invest in one sick cow, but if you aggregate a bunch of them together the risk goes away. It's called math. The boss: Suddenly I feel all savvy.

Stay Home When Sick

Thank you for voting.
Stay Home When Sick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2019's comic on:

Tags #office workers, #healthy, #sick, #sneeze, #infect, #deadlines

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: maybe you should stay home when you are sick. alice sneezing: honk! i will, but first i need to infect the rest of you so i'm not the only one missing deadlines. can you hold this for me? (passes off tissue to dilbert)

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #so-called, #unwritten rules, #porcupines, #balloon store

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk. Dogbert says, "I've decided to write down all of the so-called 'unwritten rules.'" Dogbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "So far I have 'Don't phone after ten p.m.' and . . . Uh . . ." Dilbert asks, "That's it?" Dogbert asks, "How about 'Don't throw porcupines in a balloon store?'"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 1990's comic on:

Tags #dinosaur, #bob, #inside, #job, #sitting, #yuppie, #bigots, #called

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur stands at a man's door and says, "Hi. I'm Bob. I called earlier about the babysitting job." The man says, "To be honest, we didn't know you were a dinosaur when you called . . ." Bob replies, "That's okay. I didn't know you were yuppie bigots."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #absence, #mother, #nature, #absence dog, #cloned, #sick, #woman, #employee, #leave of absence

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. A woman says, "Dilbert, I need to fill out an absence report for the days you missed work." Dilbert replies, "Well, Mother Nature got mad and had wild deer kill me. But my garbage man and my dog cloned me back to life." The woman says, "I'll put 'sick.'"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #item, #vacation, #increments, #regular, #work, #days, #vacations, #avoid, #assignments, #minutes, #cough, #better, #take, #some, #sick, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Ted, can you explain number two?" Ted replies, "No. I'm on vacation." Ted explains, "I take my vacations in ten minute increments during regular work days. That way I can avoid assignments." Dilbert says, "Your ten minutes are up." Ted coughs and says, "Whoa, I'd better take some sick time."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #mouse, #office, #rid, #twenty, #five, #years, #called, #Women, #movement, #butt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert watches as a woman says to the janitor, "Willy, there's a mouse in my office. Please get rid of it." Willy replies, "Haw haw! Twenty-five years of the so-called Women's Movement and nothing is different!" The woman says, "Do it now, or I'll fire your butt." Willy says, "This part is a little different."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 1994's comic on:

Tags #called to brag, #dogbert headhunting service, #no skill, #pays 100k, #dogbert job

View Transcript

Transcript

"This is Dogbert's Headhunting Service." "I've got a job that pays a hundred thousand per year and requires no skill whatsoever." "No, I didn't say it's available. I called to brag about my own job."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1989's comic on:

Tags #book, #dog, #pet, #sick, #animals, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman walking down the sidewalk drops something. Dilbert bends over to pick it up and says, "Excuse me, miss!" The woman turns around and thinks, "Uh oh . . ." Dilbert says, "You dropped this little book titled 'Attractive Women's Secret Guide to Avoiding Dilbert.'" Dilbert says, "Wait a minute! I KNEW there had to be some kind of conspiracy!!" Dilbert opens the book and says, "If I can break this code, it will cripple their entire operation!" The woman shouts into a walkie talkie, "Mayday!!! Mayday!!!" Dilbert points at the woman and says, "Dogbert, sic!!!" Dogbert replies, "Sick? No, but my nose is a bit dry . . ."