Search Results for "calling"
Share July 10, 1990's comic on:
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of the department secretary." The Boss continues, "See if you can get him to cut down on the personal calls." The secretary sits at his desk wearing a sombrero and holding maracas. Dilbert says, ". . . Just be a little more discreet . . . For example, try NOT wearing the traditional costume of the countries you're calling."
Share June 04, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Nobody ever calls on my new video phone so I routed the television signal to it." Dilbert continues, "Now I can pretend that celebrities are calling me all day." Dilbert says as he walks away, "Ooh . . . Dolly Parton is calling. I'll bet it's for me again."
Share April 28, 1999's comic on:
Alice stands behind Asok who sits at his computer. Alice says, "Asok, I've been calling and calling, but you don't pick up your phone." Alice pushes up her sleeve and says, "I'd like you to meet a little something I call the "fist of death." Wally and Dilbert look at a tattered hole in a cubicle wall. Wally says, "It looks like he gnawed through the wall to escape."
Share March 13, 2001's comic on:
An under-the-weather Alice sits angrily as The Boss says, "I'm a bit suspicious about you calling in sick yesterday on a Monday, Alice." The Boss looks startled as Alice exclaims, "Glah!" and her internal organs fly out of her mouth. Alice says to Dilbert, "Luckily I had lots of optional guts."
Share May 29, 2002's comic on:
Wally is walking down the hallway with a metal detector. Alice asks him, "Wally, what do you expect to find here with a metal detector?" Wally responds, "My first choice is some sort of priceless treasure. But I wouldn't say no to a bottle cap." Alice leaves and Wally thinks to himself, "I finally find my calling in life and I waste all day explaining it."
Share July 03, 2003's comic on:
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our strategy is to grow revenue from new products." Dilbert turns to The Boss and asks, "How obvious does an idea need to be before we'll stop calling it a strategy?" The Boss says, "And we plan to eliminate waste." Dilbert responds, "We'll miss you."
Share July 28, 2007's comic on:
Dilbert: "You eliminated the budget for automated test software. How are we going to test our new code?" The Boss: "Go write some automated test software, you big baby. I already pay you, so it's free." Dilbert: "Today I learned I can end any conversation by calling the other person a big baby." Dogbert: "Waa-waa! Do you want your bottle?"
Share August 13, 2012's comic on:
Boss: You're supposed to be cold calling sales prospects. Wally: I am. I'm using a video chat site to randomly meet potential customers. This guy is excited to see me, and that's half of the sales job right here.
Share December 06, 2009's comic on:
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Sales have been lagging" Dogbert says, "I want each of you to cold-call ten customers per day." Alice says, "We're engineers. We don't know how to sell." Dogbert says, "Just follow this script. It's guaranteed to close every sale." Dilbert says, "Hello. I'm calling on behalf of the police and firefighter's charity for unattractive youths." Dilbert says, "If you send us $500 we will send you a lovely piece of software as a thank you gift." Dilbert says, "Otherwisem when your house catches on fire, you might find yourself handcuffed to the refrigerator." Mom says, "Dilbert? Is that you?" Dilbert says, "Hi, mom. I'm in sales now."
Share August 26, 2013's comic on:
Carol: It's the new guys first day and he's calling in sick. His message says he was putting on his shirt and got his head caught in an arm hole. Good hire. Boss: I had that same problem with my pants.