Calls 911 Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

117 Results for Calls 911

View 1 - 10 results for calls 911 comic strips. Discover the best "Calls 911" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2004's comic on:

Tags #corrective lens, #fall in urinal, #calls 911, #building, #happened

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "To what project would I charge my time in the following situation?" "Let's say that a pair of corrective lenses falls in a urinal, and the owner freaks out and calls 911..." "It hasn't happened yet but I can feel it building up."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2011's comic on:

Tags #laziness, #meetings, #telephones, #returned calls, #tragus, #phone, #research on excuses, #useless, #big difference

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Why haven't you returned my calls?" Wally says, "I tried, but when I put the phone to my ear, it pressed my tragus over my ear hole and I couldn't hear a thing." Coworker says, "Do you do research on your excuses before meetings?" Wally says, "I'm not lazy, I'm useless. There's a big difference."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2011's comic on:

Tags #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #new phone, #recommendations, #dropped calls, #poor battery life, #hate the messenger, #build phones

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I need a new phone. Which one do you recommend? Dilbert: Do you want to be angry about your dropped calls or angry about your poor battery life? Don't hate the messenger. Carol: People similar to you build phones.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2012's comic on:

Tags #telephones, #reprogrammed speed dial, #cellphone, #calls himself, #intelligence test, #hold on, #failed intelligence test, #20 minutes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I reprogrammed our pointy-haired boss/ speed dial on his desk phone. Now every time he tries to use speed dial, it calls his own cellphone. It's like an intelligence test. I want to see how long it takes him to figure it our. Boss: I'd better take this. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hold on. Hold on. For the hundredth time, don't tell me to hold on! I'm telling you to hold on! Carol: Twenty minutes so far.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 1990's comic on:

Tags #dinosaurs, #babysitter, #dinosaur, #emergency, #scenarios, #burglary, #injury, #poinsoning, #dial 911, #complete, #blank, #here

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur sits across from a man and a woman who are interviewing him. The man says, "Before we hire you as our babysitter, we want to test how a dinosaur like you would respond to a variety of emergency scenarios." The man asks, "What if there's a fire?" Bob replies, "Dial 911." The man asks, "Burglary?" Bob answers, "Dial 911." The man asks, "Injury?" Bob replies, "Dial 911." The man asks, "Poisoning?" Bob replies, "Dial 911." The man asks, "Giant asteroid collides with earth and triggers an ice age?" Bob says, "Oh, wow . . . I'm drawing a complete blank here . . ."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #department, #secretary, #personal, #phone, #calls, #traditional, #costume, #countries, #calling, #cultural appropriation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of the department secretary." The Boss continues, "See if you can get him to cut down on the personal calls." The secretary sits at his desk wearing a sombrero and holding maracas. Dilbert says, ". . . Just be a little more discreet . . . For example, try NOT wearing the traditional costume of the countries you're calling."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #roof, #leaking, #fix, #tomorrow, #members, #profession, #unreliable, #quote, #show, #return, #calls, #hired, #nobody, #repeat, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to the ceiling and says to a roofer, "The roof is leaking there. Can you fix it tomorrow?" The roofer replies, "Well, like all members of my profession, I'm unreliable. However, I could give you a quote and then never show up or return your calls." Dilbert says, "You're hired. Nobody else would even show up for the quote." The roofer says, "I depend on repeat customers."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 1995's comic on:

Tags #dogberts talk radio, #smartest creature, #dolts, #taking calls, #understand complex, #crossfire

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits in a radio DJ booth wearing earphones and speaking into a microphone. He says, "I'm the smartest creature in the universe and you are all dolts." Dogbert continues, "Today I'm taking calls from people who think they understand complex issues because they watch 'Crossfire' on CNN." A caller says, ". . . So why not put all poor people in orphanages?" With his paw on the control panel, Dogbert says, "Put your head up to the speaker, Bob."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1995's comic on:

Tags #nest paper towels, #call 911, #never know, #would have worked

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is standing in front of the copying machine. Reaching inside the copier, a man says, "Here's the problem. We've got a whole nest of paper trolls." The man yells as he is being pulled into the machine, "AAIIEE!" Dilbert thinks, "If I call 911 now I'll never know if the lower paper tray would have worked."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1998's comic on:

Tags #user manual, #typo, #technical calls, #phone sex place, #complaints are down, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert looks over his cubicle wall. The Boss says, "Our user manual has a typo. Our technical support calls are going to a phone sex place." The Boss says, "Complaints are way down." Customer's House: The customer sits at his computer and says into the telephone, "Well, okay, but... has that ever worked?" The voice on the other end of the line says, "No complaints yet."