Can't Buy Happiness Comic Strips

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410 Results for Can't Buy Happiness

View 1 - 10 results for can't buy happiness comic strips. Discover the best "Can't Buy Happiness" comics from Dilbert.com.

Money Can't Buy Happiness

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Money Can't Buy Happiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, work, motivation, meaning, money, raise, wages, excuses, psychology

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Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, dance, paycheck, mine, twice, big, money, buy, happiness

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss dangles a check from his fingers and says, "It's pay day." The Boss yells, "Ha ha!! Dance for your paycheck!! Ha ha ha!! Mine is twice as big!!" The Boss walks away thinking, "And they say money can't buy happiness."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags can't buy happiness, expensive possessions, pople envious, tarde happiness for money, whacked

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Dogbert: "Bob, remember that money can't buy happiness." Bob: "But it can buy expensive possessions that make other people envious, and that feels just as good." Dogbert: "And you can pay to have people whacked." Bob: "Can I trade my happiness for some money?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, happiness, money, wrong, invested, options, stock, company, desk, zymed, takeover, rumors, idiots

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Am I wrong or did you tell me you invested all of your money in stock options for a company called Zymed?" Dogbert continues, "The radio says the stock price tripled on takeover rumors. You just made about ten million dollars." Dogbert continues, "But they say money can't buy happiness." Dilbert replies, "Apparently 'they' are idiots."

Biggest Risk To Happiness

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Biggest Risk To Happiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, Advice, complaining, conversation, psychology

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Wally: The biggest risk to your happiness involves listening to other people. When they aren't trying to make you work, they're complaining. Asok: I hate that. Wally: Shhh. Don't talk.

Compensation Based On Happiness

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Compensation Based On Happiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, company culture, raise, wages, job satisfaction, compensation, psychology, money

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Boss: From now on, your compensation will be a function of your baseline happiness. We don't want to waste money giving raises to employees who won't get any happier no matter what we do. Dilbert: This plan makes me unhappy. Boss: Nice try, but you were already unhappy.

Buying Tee Shirts

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Buying Tee Shirts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clothing, purchase, retail, size, small, t-shirt, home, shopping

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dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: do you like my new t-shirt? it's two sizes too small, but that's all they had. dogbert: wouldn't it be better to buy shirts that you like that are also the right size? dilbert: in theory, yes. but i have been buying t-shirts for years, and i don't recall seeing that option.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, ignorance (knowledge), idiot, health benefits, social stigma, healthy, transition, psychology

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Dilbert: I'm considering becoming an idiot so I can get the health benefits of happiness. It comes with a social stigma, but that's not a problem if I'm not aware that I'm an idiot. I feel healthy today, so there's a good chance I already made the transition. Dogbert: Yep.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office buildings, work ethic, new cubicles, death eater gray, soul sponge, absorb happiness, fear of the unknown

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Office relocation Tina says, "Your new cubicles will be a color called 'death eater gray.'" Tina says, "The fabric is a soul sponge that will absorb your happiness if you stand hear it." The Boss says, "How'd the meeting go?" Tina says, "Well, you know, fear of the unknown." Office Relocation

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, frustration, buy in, cleaner, windows don't open

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Dilbert: I can't get buy-in for my project because our CEO hasn't approved it. And I can't get our CEO to approve it until I have buy-in from all of the divisions. On the plus side, now I understand why the windows in our building don't open. Boss: It's cleaner.