Can't Sustain Information Comic Strips

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221 Results for Can't Sustain Information

View 1 - 10 results for can't sustain information comic strips. Discover the best "Can't Sustain Information" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wally report, #serious threat, #productivity, #new things, #brain full, #forget fifth grade, #more information, #can't sustain information

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Alice, Wally, Dilbert and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Wally says: "In this week's Wally report, I'll discuss a serious threat to my productivity." Wally says: "By Tuesday my brain was so full that I had to forget things to make room for new things." Alice looks to Wally through the coner of her eyes. The boss says: "Wally. I have some information for you." Wally says: "Great. I'll just forget the fifth grade."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #animals, #livestock, #punishment, #rudeness, #preventer of information, #mordac, #penalty, #relocation, #agrarian society, #cow knows, #rebooting, #call tech support

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Mordac, the preventer of information services Mordac says, "You have exceeded your allocation for I.T. support." Mordac says, "The penalty is forcible relocation to an agrarian society." Cow says, "Seriously, even a cow knows you should try rebooting before calling tech support."

Information From Carl

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Information From Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #colleagues, #rude, #mumble, #ignorance, #information, #business, #stalk, #cubicle, #layers

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Tina: i almost got some information from carl. i stalked him to his cubicle and penetrated his outer defense of rudeness. but i never broke through his mumble layer. dilbert: wait until you get to his ignorance layer.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #ventriloquism, #information overload, #libertarian, #taxidermist, #hand hole, #work, #like puppet, #creepy, #business

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Alice says, "His brain shut down from information overload, so I asked a libertarian taxidermist to stuff him." Alice says, "There's a hand hole in the back so we can work him like a puppet." Dilbert says, "It's sort of creepy." Alice says, "You'll get used to it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #taxes, #sociopth, #victimless crime, #insider information, #hedge fund, #split profit, #tax people

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Dogbert: The great thing about being a sociopath is that everything feels like a victimless crime. If you give me some insider information for my hedge fund, I'll split the profit with you. Think of it as a tax on people you don't know. CEO: That's the best kind!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suspicion, #thinking, #new information, #project scope, #anticipate, #think

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Dilbert: Based on this new information, you'll want to change our project scope. Boss: I don't do that. Dilbert: What? Think? Today I learned it's better if I don't try to guess what people mean.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #lawyers & attorneys, #apps, #contact information, #users address books, #data, #office, #desk, #meeting, #store data, #business

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Coworker: Please tell me our apps don't steal contact information from our users' address books. Boss: We upload the data but we don't store it. Coworker: That's like saying I can date your wife if I put a bag over her head. Boss: That could work. Coworker: I don't think I'm getting through to you.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #extensive plastic surgery, #face, #gadgets, #information services, #office equipment, #swine, #to log on

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Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. Dilbert: I know. We've worked together for years. Mordac: And it still sounds awesome when I say it. Anyway, I up-graded our network security to include facial recognition. Your temporary password is this face. You'll need extensive plastic surgery to log on the first time. Dilbert: You've gone too far, Mordac! I will escalate this! Boss: I wish we'd had this conversation a week ago.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #trader, #stocks, #illegal, #trading, #information, #board, #meeting, #san francisco

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become an inside trader of stocks." Dilbert replies, "Inside trading is illegal. Besides, where will you get your information?" Dogbert raises his ears and says, "Shhh . . . I hear a board meeting starting San Francisco."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #deep, #sleep, #hypnosis, #Draw, #aliens, #abducted, #e.t., #bag, #packed, #Dilbert

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Dogbert sits on a chair and Dilbert lies on a couch. Dogbert says, "You are in a deep sleep . . . Now, while under hypnosis you can draw the aliens who abducted you." Dogbert whispers, "Hint: they all look exactly like 'E.T.'" No longer hypnotized, Dilbert looks at a drawing and says, "Wow! I drew that??" Dogbert says, "They usually come back for you. Better keep a bag packed."