Search Results for "cancelled"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 22

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 1994's comic on:

Tags #project cancelled, #answer, #task delegated, #craft response, #boss delegating job, #do nothing boss, #fraud

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Do you remember when the company President visited? You asked why your project had been cancelled. He promised to get an answer, That task has been delegated all the way down to me. Id like you to craft a response for me, You'll have to put your new project on hold until this is done.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1994's comic on:

Tags #share accomplishements, #meeting, #share, #tiger team, #lock up session, #meeting cancelled, #nothing tangible, #busy work, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Let's each share our accomplishments for the month. Dilbert: To the untrained observer it might seem like I didn't accomplish anything. However, I did strategically "position" my project by socializing it within the company. Dilbert: Then Wally and I help a "tiger team" lock up session. Then I prepared the executive briefing package for the big meeting that got cancelled. Since then Ive spent most if my time looking for the best project management software to use. And I did it all within ten percent of my budget goal, Dilbert: Looking good. Wally: wow all I did was that tiger thing.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 1995's comic on:

Tags #person, #project, #headcount, #contract employee, #buy a computer, #over budget, #renting expensive, #Wally, #16 hour days, #boss thinks genius, #project cancelled

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches the Boss and says, "We desperately need another person on my project!" The Boss replies, "We're already over headcount. Get a contract employee." Dilbert says, "Okay, but they cost twice as much." Dilbert says, "Plus we need to buy a computer." The Boss says, "Rent one. We're over our capital budget." Dilbert replies, "Renting is expensive. We'll go over our expense budget." The Boss says, "I'll fire Wally. That will free up some cash." Dilbert throws his arms up in frustration and says, "Wally's on my project!" Dilbert shouts, "Forget it! I'll just work sixteen hours a day!!" The Boss thinks, "That worked out perfectly. I think I might be a genius or something." The Boss sits at his desk and thinks, "I wonder if I should have told him the project was cancelled last week."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1999's comic on:

Tags #project, #cancelled, #never love agian, #remounce religion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is holding a mug and walking behind Asok. Dilbert says to Asok: "I heard your project got cancelled." Asok stops and says: "What?" Asok screams and shakes his hands in the air in front of Dilbert: "No! No! Why me? I'll never love again!!" Asok's hair is standing up and he is grabbing his tie with wild eyes. Asok says to Dilbert: "I renounce my religion." Dilbert says: "Ouch."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2001's comic on:

Tags #ceos goal, #improve revenue, #fired, #contratcor, #cancelled my contract

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to an employee, "Our CEO's goal is to improve our revenue per employee. So I'm going to fire you and bring you back as a contractor." The employee responds, "Last week his goal was to reduce the number of contractors. So you cancelled my contract and hired me as an employee." The Boss replies, "Well, it looks like someone doesn't like having his cheese moved." The employee looks at The Boss skeptically.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2002's comic on:

Tags #downsized, #not one of them, #project cancelled, #wonder, #zombie, #offer to walk, #boos, #fired, #let go, #shock

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting in front of The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "Your project is cancelled. You'll be downsized in ninety days." The Boss continues, "Until then, feel free to wander around like a zombie." Dilbert walks past coworkers and thinks to himself, "I walk among them but I am not one of them."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2004's comic on:

Tags #no vacation, #inability to plan, #contact wedding guets, #arranged marriage cancelled, #project finished

View Transcript

Transcript

There will be no vacations until the project is finished. "It feels as if I am being punished for your inability to properly plan and staff." "I will contact my 800 wedding guests and tell them that my arranged marriage is cancelled." "Thanks."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2004's comic on:

Tags #cancelled vacations, #non refundable, #tickets, #tahiti, #exception, #look skeptical, #coffee, #break room

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: You cancelled all vacations but I have non-refundable plane tickets to tahiti. So I should be an exception to ...the ...um....you look skeptical. Dilbert: I dont think Tahiti would let you in. Wally: why does everyone say that?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #consultant, #advised, #handle, #sneaking, #stamping, #cancelled, #understand, #goodyear, #blimp

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "My consultant advised me to handle the layoffs in a direct, professional way." The Boss holds up a rubber stamp and continues, "So, throughout the day I'll be sneaking up on people and stamping 'Canceled' on their backs." As Wally runs away, Alice says, "Let me see if I understand . . ." The Boss points and says, "Hey! Is that the Goodyear blimp?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1994's comic on:

Tags #exaggerating accomplishments, #failing, #monkey, #more humiliating, #stupid monkey, #typical, #zimbu, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our CEO cancelled his visit, He's sending his top aid, ZIMBU the monkey in his place. Dilbert: Isn't that typical? I spent a week exaggerating my accomplishments for this now he sends a stupid monkey! what could be more humiliating than trying to suck up to a monkey? Monkey: Failing at it?