Capital For Testing Comic Strips

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92 Results for Capital For Testing

View 1 - 10 results for capital for testing comic strips. Discover the best "Capital For Testing" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #radiation, #capital for testing, #handset radiation, #tumor, #stan

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The Boss: Which one of you asked for capital for testing handset radiation, Dilbert: That was Stan. and you told him to find a less expensive way to do it. The Boss: which one of you is Stan?

Dating Is A B Testing

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Dating Is A B Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #analysis, #comparison, #dating, #first date, #judging, #a-b testing, #click with, #analytics, #measuring, #too many questions, #relationships, #science

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Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #tax incentives, #capital investments, #pursue opportunities, #over burdened staff, #divert resocurces, #top priorities

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Demon says, "The government announced tax incentives for new capital investments." Dilbert says, "That's great. Now we can pursue marginally attractive opportunities with our overburdened staff." Demon says, "Is he always like this?" The Boss says, "Yes." Dilbert says, "I'll just divert resources from our top priorities."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #discussion, #hijack conversations of subordinates, #imperious interuptus, #load and testing

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Dilbert: ... then we can do the load testing and... Boss: I'm invoking the right of imperious interruptus. In layman's terms, it is the right of all bosses to hijack the conversations of subordinates. I will now turn my back to you and speak with Alice as if you don't exist. Do not leave. Do not chime in, just awkwardly stand there. CEO: Imperious interruptus! Behold my power to make two underlings stand awkwardly while I hijack this conversation! Have you heard my speech about how we're not level conscious at this company?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #communism, #ex-communism, #elbonia, #capital, #Politics, #backward, #country, #airport

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The caption says, "Dilbert arrives at the ex-communist country of Elbonia." Dilbert says to a man in uniform, "I need a flight to your capital." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "For a moment I was worried that this backward little country wouldn't have a commuter flight." Two Elbonian women watch as Dilbert is flung from a giant slingshot. One woman says, "I hate living near the airport."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #capital, #mud, #country, #blue, #jeans, #communism, #capitalism, #Dilbert

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The caption says, "Dilbert takes a slingshot ride to Elbonia's capital." Dilbert flies through the air thinking, "There it is . . ." Dilbert lands in the mud and thinks, "It's a good thing this whole country is made of mud." Dilbert says to two Elbonians and a pig, "I have come to teach you capitalism." A pig asks, "Did you bring blue jeans?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #visit, #hug, #rat, #lab, #compulsion, #perfume, #testing

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Dogbert says, "Ratbert!" Ratbert says, "Dogbert! I've come to visit!" Ratbert extends his arms and says, "Your body language says you don't want to hug me. What's wrong? Is it because I'm a rat?" Dogbert asks, "What have you been testing at the lab?" Ratbert replies, "Madonna's 'Compulsion' perfume. Why?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #drug, #testing, #performance, #attendance, #judged, #insult, #integrity

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "Why have you refused to submit to our employee drug testing?" Dilbert replies, "It's violation of my privacy and an insult to my integrity. I demand to be judged only on my PERFORMANCE." The Boss says, "But your performance stinks," Dilbert says, "Performance AND attendance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #employee, #drug, #testing, #program, #turning, #positive, #Classic, #symptoms

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and a woman, "I'm discontinuing the employee drug testing program . . ." The Boss shows Dilbert a document and says, "Because my own tests keep turning out positive . . . Which makes me suspect that some wise guy has tampered with the medical computer." Dilbert says, "Denial and paranoia . . . Classic symptoms." Wally asks, "Is he 'high' right now?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #10 million, #cloud start up, #social media, #venture capital, #location based, #flattering, #investment, #technology

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Venture Capital Dogbert: I need $100,000 for my location-based, social media, could start-up. Coworker: I'm not giving you $100,000 just because you spewed some buzz-words. Dogbert: The how about $10 million? Coworker: Wait... now it sounds like a good investment. How did you do that? Dogbert: I can tell you, but it won't be flattering.