Capture Canadian Comic Strips

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10 Results for Capture Canadian

View 1 - 10 results for capture canadian comic strips. Discover the best "Capture Canadian" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2013's comic on:


Tags #exploitation, #work ethic, #territorial mud, #web page, #forced labor camps, #current job, #capture canadian

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Elbonian: Halt! You have entered the territorial mud of North Elbonia! I'll text you a link to a web page about our forced labor camps. You might like them. Dilbert: This looks better than my current job. Elbonian: No rush, but I have an appointment to capture a Canadian at eleven.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1999's comic on:


Tags #hidden camera, #capture theief, #raining cubicles, #human form, #grainy picture

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Dilbert slips a tape into a VCR as the boss watches. Dilbert says, "I used a hidden camera to capture the thief who's been raiding our cubicles." The picture on the TV screen is the boss. The boss says, "The picture is grainy but I can almost make out a human form... or maybe a cat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #mapped and gapped, #consolidate, #program of work, #maximize synergy, #capture and optimize, #resource utilization, #requirements

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Wally: "This week I mapped and gapped the requirements to consolidate everything into a program of work..." "...to maximize synergy capture and optimize our resource utilization." "If any of that sounded like work, I'll do some more of it next week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2008's comic on:


Tags #really show, #camera, #capture failures, #humiliations, #dull act of insignificance, #fill void, #fathering children, #being famous

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Dogbert says, "I decided to produce a reality show about your life." Dilbert says, "What?" Dogbert says, "The cameras will follow you around and capture all of your failures and humiliations." Dilbert says, "Why would I agree to that?" Dogbert says, "Because you suffer from the dull ache of insignificance." Dogbert says, "You can only fill the horrible void in your soul by fathering children or being famous." Dilbert says, "Maybe I prefer to have children." Dogbert says, "And maybe you prefer to flap your ears and fly to Mars." Dogbert says, "Do you see where I'm going with this?" BOP A cameraman says, "Sorry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 1995's comic on:


Tags #inspirational poster, #animal research, #beautiful scene, #nightly eagle swoop

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The Boss says to Ratbert, "My inspirational posters aren't working. I need to do some animal research, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Ready!!" The Boss holds up the poster and asks, "In this beautiful scene we see a mighty eagle swooping down to capture its prey. What is your reaction?" Ratbert shakes in fear. The Boss thinks, "I think it's working." Ratbert screams, "Run for it, mom!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1996's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #career counselor, #enough people quit, #best startegy, #convince coworkers, #video, #exact moment, #life force, #leaves body

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Wally sits across from Dogbert's desk and Dogbert sits on the desk. Dogbert says, "The company won't lay you off if enough people quit first." Dogbert continues, "Your best strategy is to convince your co-workers that their jobs are intolerable." Wally shines a flashlight on Asok and points a video camera at him. Wally says, "We do this for all the young employees, Asok. I'll capture the exact moment that your life force leaves your body."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #queen bee, #marketing, #marketing buzz, #man with rope, #loyal, #business

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Dilbert wears a backpack and carries rope. Dilbert says, "I'm going to capture the queen bee of marketing." Dogbert's ears fly up and his fur stands on end. Dogbert says, "No matter what she says, do't be seduced by her marketing buzz." A huge bee lady sits on a throwm looking at a piece of paper. A man says, "A man with a rope is here to see you. I wan't loyal enough to stop him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2007's comic on:


Tags #green consultant, #source of methane, #free source, #energy, #small office, #give, #butt, #hose, #pants, #health

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Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Your coworkers have identified you as a source of methane." Dogbert: "If we capture this free source of energy we can power a small office building." Wally: "I give and I give."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #spreadsheet, #terrible job, #boos, #meeting, #office, #poorly conceived, #complexity of real world, #wrong cells, #numbers don't lie, #business

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The Boss: "Asok, according to my spreadsheet, you have been doing a terrible job." Asok: "Perhaps your spreadsheet is poorly conceived and does not capture the complexity of the real world." "And let's not forget the near certainty that your formulae are pointing to the wrong cells." The Boss: "Numbers don't lie."

Advice Capture Device

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Advice Capture Device - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deception, #trick, #invention, #Advice, #silence, #gullible, #guile

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Dilbert: I invented headphones that will record all of your advice as you dispense it. This way it will be preserved for future generations. Wally: He thinks we can hear him? Dilbert: He also thinks it is recording.