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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2004's comic on:

Tags #car, #late, #cold, #car wouldn't start, #warm out, #wind chill factor, #no actual car, #lied. boss, #excuse

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wally: I'm late because my car wouldn't start in the cold. The boss; Its warm outside. allyL theres a little thing called the wind chill factor. Hello - o - o -o!! Dilbert: that was wrong on many levels. wally: Someday Im gotta get a car.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1999's comic on:

Tags #new bonus plan, #peak perfromance, #bonus, #goods mine, #car won't start

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The boss, Asok, Dilbert and wally sit at a conference table. The boss says, "Introducing the new bonus plan." ASok raises his hand and says, "Yes!!! I'm already working at peak performance, so that bonus is as good as mine!" Phil appears behind asok and says, "Asok, Mr. Reality wanted to visit you, but his car won't start. I'm Phil."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1989's comic on:

Tags #car, #dating, #eyes, #lucky, #relationships

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Did you ever think how lucky people are that their eyes are located on their heads?" Dogbert continues, "Suppose your eyes were on your ankles; you wouldn't be able to drive a car." Dilbert leaves. Dogbert continues, "Without cars, dating would be impossible. No dating, then no marriage. Soon the species would be extinct."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1995's comic on:

Tags #hired as temp, #ratbert, #cardboard box, #main hallway, #regular employees, #status, #security gurad, #crud behind refrigerator, #company car

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Dilbert says to Ratbert, "Congratulations on getting hired as a temp, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Where do I start?!" Dilbert tells him, "Your office is this cardboard box in the main hallway. The regular employees will not make eye contact or ask your name." Dilbert continues, "Your status is roughly between the security guard and the crud behind the refrigerator." Ratbert replies, "Do I get a company car?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 1996's comic on:

Tags #product idea, #quit, #start business, #run new company, #cucbilces, #immoral, #people already in hell

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Dilbert says to Wally, "If this company won't use our product idea let's quit and start our own business!" Wally responds, "Why quit? We can run our new company from our cubicles and get paid too." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't that be immoral?" Wally says, "That's only an issue for people who aren't already in hell."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1997's comic on:

Tags #didn't use brain, #already knew, #car pool, #staff meeting, #steak alive

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "I didn't use my brain this week." Wally says, "I listened to things I already knew; I waited for people who were late; I was a passenger in my car pool." The Boss says, "Let's start the staff meeting." Wally pumps his fist in the air and says, "Yes!! Keeping the streak alive!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2000's comic on:

Tags #twenty year car lease, #investment, #hidden fees, #burglar guard house, #wag

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A client wearing a cap is sitting with Dogbert in a meeting. Dogbert says to him while pushing a sheet a paper towards him: "This investment combines the best features of an annuity plus a twenty-year car lease." The client looks at the sheet of paper and says to Dogbert: "How can I tell if there are hidden fees?" Dogbert answers: "You can pay me 1% per year to advise you." The client looks suspicious and says to Dogbert: "Wouldn't that be like paying a burglar to guard my house?" Dogbert answers: "Excuse my while I wag."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2013's comic on:

Tags #obliviousness, #office buildings, #work ethic, #prodcutivity, #cubicles, #one clown car

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Boss: Productivity went down when we moved the engineers from private offices to cubicles. Productivity went down again when we tried to open the office plan. CEO: Have we tried putting all of them in one clown car? Boss: No, but I don't see why that wouldn't work.

Dilbert Designs Flying Car

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Dilbert Designs Flying Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2015's comic on:

Tags #business decisions, #good ideas, #ideas, #innovation, #inventions, #managers, #rejection, #flying car, #harvest ion, #ion powered cars, #selfie camera, #sterring wheel

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Dilbert: I designed a flying car that harvests ions from the air to power itself. We can build them for only $3,000 apiece. CEO: There's no market for ion-powered flying cars. Dilbert: I can put a selfie camera in the steering wheel. CEO: Much better. And let' say the car does not fly.

Value Of A Start Up Idea

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Value Of A Start Up Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2015's comic on:

Tags #ideas, #money, #start-up, #business, #worth, #value

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Boss: I have a great idea for a start-up company. All I need is a seed investor and an engineer to do all the work. Alice: I believe the economic term for what you have is "nothing."